MARCHING OUT OF MARCH

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"Don't worry about finding your passion. Instead, start by acting on the small things that excite you each day. These are the threads that will connect you to your path, passion, and purpose in life." - Rubén Chavez

It's the last day of the month of March and it marks the end of the first quarter of the year. Significant isn't it?

This is the day to be retrospective. To think on our actions through the past three months and assess ourselves to know if we are in line with our plans for our lives and the New Year resolutions we made on the first day of January this year.

In regards to the New Year resolutions, a lot of people have lost their way or just plain given up on realising them. While some are still pushing it, working hard to turn those resolutions into reality. Kudos to those still pushing to give life to those dreams and resolutions. Success is just around the corner.

And for those who stopped trying before the end of the first quarter of the year, I pray that you have the strength to begin again. Tough as it may be to understand, you are the biggest winners in this. How? Because the time you took away from working to make your plans a reality, if applied properly, would have taught you serious lessons about life that you can apply in the future.

The end of the month doesn't signify the end of the world or the fight. On the contrary, it signifies a fresh start, a new beginning, an opportunity to do things better, differently if necessary, but better than before. The economy is yet to get as good as it should be. And until it does, we can only keep doing what we can, legally, to survive, grow, and be a source of blessings to ourselves and those around us.

In beginning the new month, I would like us to be courageous. It is probably not going to be easy, but we can make it easier for ourselves. Take it one step at a time, day by day, do the things you are passionate about. You could find an exciting way to do those things you want to do and go on to have a great life. Don't beat yourself up when things are not going as planned. It will all work out for good.
Have a great day lovelies!


- The Lady

“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”

Ecclesiastes 3:11

BE FEELING YOURSELF!!!

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"You must never doubt your ability to achieve anything, become anything, overcome anything, and inspire anything." - Tasha Hoggat

Today's post comes with a lot of questions for you to ask yourself and reply to yourself. A little truth-filled 'me time' if you wish to think of it that way. "It is the middle of the week Rae, why don't we do this deep stuff some other time?", I can almost hear some say. Well, it is needful today. It is necessary. Because at the end of the day, it is what you think and feel about yourself that shines through in everything you do.

We all have plans for our lives. Big dreams and aspirations. But dreaming won't take us anywhere if we don't start somewhere. Don't go listening to people who are not going the way you are going. Up up somebody! It's your life, you are in control and responsible for it. What's stopping you from starting to live, to be, to execute those plans?

We have all had those moments when we felt like the world was caving in on us and we just want to give up. But, a lot of people have been through what you are going through and they have made it. What's to stop you except you? What you give power to has power over you. Why not give that power to yourself rather than give it to things or people that will do you wrong or won't appreciate it?

In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself may be viewed as a rebellious act. But does that mean that you must conform to the image that society paints for you and forget about your authentic self? Self-love, self-confidence, self-worth. Words that we have heard at different times. What is stopping you from practicing them?

It is not what you look at that matters, it is what you see that does. When you look in the mirror, do you see someone who is beaten down by life, or someone who is working hard to make a difference? The most successful people create their own love, manufacture their own meaning, and generate their own motivation. What's stopping you from fighting for what you want to see?

Become better and you will attract better. Surround yourself with the energy you need and deserve. Surround yourself with those who dream of better, those who believe in better, those who work for better, and those who do better. Stay in your magic. Feel excited about life, and exciting things will start happening. And when that starts, don't stop feeling and loving yourself!
Have a lovely day.


- The Lady

“For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

Galatians 5:14

LIFE NUGGET: BELIEVE

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"In order to be successful, you need to believe in yourself, your ability, and your business." - Leanna Archer

I have said it before on this blog that most of our 'limitations' are more internal than external. Most of the things that hold us back come from inside of us, from our heads(or minds whichever one you subscribe to).

Our thoughts promote those limiting factors, feeds them and make us see them as a barrier of some sort. The worst is the thought that we cannot do something. We give reasons for our inability to do that thing and keep dwelling on the reason(s) for so long that we begin to believe that we really cannot do that thing.

But, if we can take half of the time we spend believing that we cannot do a thing, and channel it towards believing that we can actually do that thing, we can make a world of difference. Not just in our lives, but in the lives of others. But it has to begin with each of us, and it has to begin from our insides.

Repeat these words with me: 'I can be the best in this World. Notwithstanding my fears and unbelief. I have a fresh start, physically and mentally. I will put in the work and time to get to where I want to be. Then, I will be the best in the World."

I hope you said those words with all the conviction you could muster? Acknowledging your fears and weaknesses will help you focus on what you can do to succeed. Strengthen your belief in yourself, your belief in your purpose, your belief in your strengths, and in humanity. Let your desire and your belief in yourself be united. And nothing will be able to hold you back.

To change your circumstances, you must change your internal beliefs, attitude, and emotions. To achieve anything requires faith and belief in your strength and in your vision. Remember, all things are possible for them that believe.
Just believe!


-The Lady

“What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:31

MOTIVATION MONDAY: BRING IT ON!

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"Be humble. Be hungry. And always be the hardest worker in the room." - Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson

The Easter holidays will be over in a couple of minutes. But the one thing I took away from it is to rise and be committed to whatever I want to do. No matter how insignificant I or others may think it is. Even after all these years, the singular act of Jesus' life, death and resurrection still gives me the chills. Not just because of what He went through, but His commitment to His love for us.

Nothing stopped Him. Nothing could. And He gave that power to us. We all have this power deposited in us that most of us don't recognise. That power inside of us, working for our good, ready to strengthen us to face whatever, if we can only let it. That power to not just love, but to be committed to whatever we set our minds on and have good success.

Woke up this morning and the song in my head was Psquare's 'Bring it on'. Don't know why. I have not heard it for a while but it kept playing in my head all day. And for some reason, I let it continue playing in my head. I even sang it a couple of times. Just the song to motivate anyone to be committed to whatever they are doing.

Depending on what you want to do, it may not be easy. Anyone who tells you it is easy isn't telling you the whole story. Nothing good comes easy, so expect a hurdle or two. Don't get discouraged if you are not where you want to be yet, great things take time. Rome was not built in a day. Progress is made one step at a time. Just be patient, trust the process, and give it everything you are.

Even if it requires you to start all over again. Do it afraid, and give it your all. Keep your eyes on the prize. Don't overthink it and ruin it or discourage yourself. Hang around people who will push you to keep doing better daily. Give yourself the audacity to dream big. Then go for it! But remember, don't just be interested, be committed. Your commitment will see you through whatever.
Have a great week sweeties.


- The Lady

“But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.”

Romans 8:11

IT KEEPS GOING

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"A genius can't beat one who is hardworking. One who is hardworking can't beat one who perseveres." - Korean Adage

Stumbled upon a post on Facebook a couple of days ago. It had been posted by a man who had just bought a brand new QX56/80 for his wife. He wrote a lengthy 'speech' about his wife having been there for him through the years, and now that he was successful, he was going to do everything he could for her.

What struck me was not the fact that he was showing appreciation to his wife for being with him through the years. It was his last statement that caught my attention. He wrote that he would make it "hard for another man to steal" his wife.

Why his statement struck me? Simply put, a lot of people believe that once something is theirs, it is theirs forever. They become lazy, or less concerned about their attitude towards that thing. Whatever happens to it is hardly important as long as it does not affect them terribly.

We have, at one point or another, met people who, after struggling to start up a business or get a job, they later developed a nonchalant towards that business or job. Expecting that others will do whatever is necessary to secure that business or job for them. Forgetting that it is THEIR responsibility to do that.

Life is a constant battle to stay alive, be good, be successful, be comfortable, etc. Just because you have got a job, begun a business, gained admission into that college, married your dream man or woman, given birth, etc, does not mean that you should stop doing the things that you are required to do to keep those things or be successful at those things.

Like in the television show, "Who wants to be a millionaire?", success at one stage takes you to the next stage, then the next stage, and so it goes until there is a failure or the game ends. Same in life. Just because you have succeeded in getting something that you desire does not mean that you have to stop. That success only led to the next stage which is for you to fight to keep that thing.

This is where a lot of people miss it. But it ought not to be so. No matter how long it took you to be successful at that thing, you need to celebrate your success, while acknowledging the fact that you now have a responsibility to keep that thing. Most times, success is not in getting somewhere, it is in remaining there or getting to some place better.

Don't go doing something you have no passion for because the moment you begin doing that thing, you automatically take on the responsibility of dedicating your time, passion, and ability to that thing. That responsibility stays alive through the life of that pursuit.

The real success is in the struggle. Keep fighting the good fight.
Have a great weekend!


- The Lady

“And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away.”

Matthew 21:19

LIFESTYLE: SHARING IS GIVING

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"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill

For as long as there will be holidays and celebrations, there will be the need to give. And for as long as there is life, there will also be the need to share. This time, it is Easter, another holiday in the Christian calendar, and a long holiday weekend here in Nigeria at least(from Friday to Monday).

Easter is the period for remembrance and reflection on the sacrifice of Jesus for us, through His life on Earth and death on Calvary. And though today is Good Friday, signifying the day of Jesus' death, we must not dwell on the sorrowful memory of that day, thousands of years ago. Rather, in the memory of the significance of Jesus' death, we must show love to others as He did for us.

The easiest way to show that love to others is by sharing. Sharing our affections by caring for others, sharing our time by being there for those that need us, and sharing a part of ourselves by loving those around us. Happiness results from what we give and not what we get. Give without expecting anything in return.

Sharing is a gift on its own, a gift to others, and a gift to ourselves. Love grows by sharing. Giving off yourself to others is the utmost display of love. You can not love without giving. For it is in giving that we receive. Give to others, share with others, it is one way to show people their worth. Give with an open heart so that they accept the gift, and you, with open hearts in return.

And as we work to create light for others through giving, we also light our own way. No matter how little, even a minute's attention to someone who needs it can go a long way. So this season, give, share, love.
Have a 'Good' Friday!
And a lovely Easter celebration in advance.


- The Lady

“I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Acts 20:35

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

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"You're either reading the news, or creating it." - Noah Kagan

Nobody thinks that they are lazy, weak, or indolent. They always have a reason to believe that they are doing something, and that what they are doing is the right thing. And they are happy with things that way. But true happiness comes when you are doing something, the right thing, with yourself.

Life is not always fair. People might try to bring you down for doing the right thing. But if you are doing the right thing consistently, God will help you find a way to where you ought to be. But you need to begin something, help yourself so that you are not idle. Self-help is not just a term, it is an attitude.

In all these, our public image matters. No matter how hard you work, if your public image doesn't match with what you are doing, people will try to fill the gaps themselves. But our public image is something we have almost no personal control over - people will think what they want. But if you are honest, people will definitely find their way to that conclusion if you are consistently honest.

Many of us live life believing that tomorrow will be better but we do nothing today about tomorrow. Hoping that tomorrow will be better is great, but doing something to really make it better is greater. And if you can not get there on your own, find someone who believes in you, a Mentor or a Coach, to give you that boost that will get you doing something.

Find your character - who you are inside. Find your purpose - what you ought to be doing, not just for yourself but for others. Find integrity - what you will do the right way even if nobody knows whether you did it or not. Go beyond watching the news to being the news by doing something right to serve the world better.

Do have a fulfilling week lovelies!

- The Lady

“And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:”

Matthew 20:27

LIFE NUGGET: TRUST

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"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because its trust is not in the branch, but in its wings." - Anonymous

Trust is one of those things necessary for a person to live a meaningful, happy life. But, it is one of the hardest things to have, for yourself and for others. The presence of trust in any relationship or endeavour makes it easier for those involved to be themselves.

The toughest thing about trust is that it is difficult to build, but very easy to break. You have to begin with yourself. Even if you don't love yourself, trust yourself to be capable of doing and being whatever you set your mind to. Create a bond with yourself that is unshakable. Because, at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself.

In your relationship with others, trust them. But remember that  people have a way of making others regret even the littlest of good efforts. So trust them, but even in the littlest way, verify so that you don't end up hurting yourself. You may be deceived if you trust too much. But you will miss out on the joys of life if you don't trust at all.

Be that bird in the tree, trust yourself and your existence, trust the people who care for you, trust your instincts and abilities. But best of all, trust your unknown to the known. Try trusting your future to God.


- The Lady

“In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.”
Psalms 56:4

MOTIVATION MONDAY: RISE

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"The experience of pain or loss can be a formidably motivating force." - John C. Maxwell

Whether in our personal lives or in our career, one of the important determinants of whether or not we will be successful is our determination and motivation to do whatever is necessary for us to achieve that desired end which is success.

But for us to get to that point, we have to learn, and be able to apply, some kind of ability that will produce success. One of the best lessons or abilities to be learnt in life is the ability to use your circumstances to your advantage. Be it good or bad, pleasure or pain, loss or gain. All that emotion can be channelled towards achieving some form of success.

But the most compelling of these emotions is loss. Even the fear of loss can motivate one to give his or her all into the pursuit of a purpose. Knowing what you can lose is, most times, enough to shake some seriousness into us. The loss might be loss of money. But most times, it might be loss of integrity, status, etc.

When you feel low or unmotivated to do what is necessary for you to achieve what you want to achieve, try thinking of the things that you would lose by succumbing to laziness or any form of inaction. Not just in your career, but in everyday life. Stay motivated to get what you desire.

Have a great week sweeties.


- The Lady

“The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools.”

Proverbs 3:35

THE LADY'S DIARIES: LIVE!

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"A great life starts within." - Malka Maxwell

Something about Sundays gets me feeling like cold water has been poured all over my head. No matter how 'up-in-my-game' I have been all week(and weekend), once it is Sunday, I automatically get super serious.

Maybe it has to do with Monday being the next day and the first day of work. Whatever it is, I always end up planning my entire week on Sundays. Unnecessary pressure some may say, but it is the one way I know to prepare myself for the week ahead.

It may not be the way to go for those who love to live in the moment(not that there's anything wrong with living in the moment), but for those who hate stress and complications, planning ahead is the way to go. It helps to keep you focused and prepared for the activities of the week in view.

But for you not to get swallowed up by the entire process, it is best to prioritise. Don't try to plan to get every important thing done before Tuesday. Take it one at a time, providing time for contingencies so that you still have time for yourself.

No matter how busy it gets, always remember to love yourself and be yourself. Be your own kind of beautiful, motivated, hardworking. Don't let the expectations of the world eclipse your expectations for yourself. Remember that you are the Sun. Shine your light all week long.


- The Lady

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:14

STAND TALL

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"The qualities I admire most in women are confidence and kindness." - Oscar de la Renta.

It has been a not-so-easy couple of weeks for me. Life has been happening and, like everyone else, I have been trying to make the best out of every situation. It is not the easiest thing to do, but your strength shines through when you don't let yourself look like the awful things that you are going through.

Everyone gets to that place at some point in life, for various reasons. Feeling depressed about the situation is not the problem, it is how you overcome that depression that makes you a boss. No matter how bad it got, I always reminded myself that:

That situation has come to teach me to be stronger, better, and wiser. Rather than complain or worry about the situation, I try to find ways to cope with it and get through it, remembering to learn new things as I go. I will admit though, remembering to learn while going through difficult situations is almost impossible but it is doable.

Even if there is nothing to be learnt from that situation(which is almost impossible), the situation will not last forever. One constant thing in life is change. And I always keep the hope alive that the situation is only temporary. With that hope, it becomes easier for me to deal with the situation.

I don't have to hurt myself just because I have found myself in a bad situation. It doesn't give me an excuse to be hurtful to myself or anyone else. No matter how bad the situation we find ourselves in, we must try to treat others with as much love and kindness as is possible.

I should be thankful and keep a positive attitude because I know that it could have been worse than it already is. I always remind myself that some people have it worse than I do and they have not given up on their situations. Seeing the good in everything rather than the bad helps put me in a better spirit to deal with that situation.

And definitely, I must stand tall in every situation, good or bad. Not because I am oblivious of the things happening around me, or that I don't care, but because I am confident in my ability to handle whatever I might be faced with.

Remembering these things, it gets easier to cope with, and deal with, every kind of situation. No matter how bad it gets, never forget the strength you have inside. Remember that the situation is only temporary, so you should learn what you can from it, come out a better person, and always be thankful for all the good you can see. At least, you have life! Live it standing tall.

Have a great weekend sweeties.


- The Lady

“Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”

Philippians 4:9

MONEY MATTERS: MY ONE NAIRA

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"A wise man should have money in his head, not his heart." - Jonathan Swift

This week is the Global Money Week, and many organisations and agencies, both governmental and non-governmental, have been holding different seminars and events to sensitize people about money, its importance, avenues for making money, and ways that they can make it work for them.

I really do appreciate these efforts, but I wish it had begun before now. Although there is an adage that goes, "it's better late than never", I can't help but feel that, for my generation, these efforts to nurture financial responsibility is coming a little later than it should have. Back in the 90s, there was no avenue or platform for financial education for children both in school or church, and the responsibility fell on the parents to make their children understand money and its importance.

Even at this, barely a handful of parents were able to teach their children below the age of 11 the importance of money. There were games like Monopoly then, but very few families bought them, and even fewer understood them or played them. The only school subjects that were 'close' to teaching about personal finance were Business Studies for junior high school students, then Economics and Accounting for senior high school students.

And even these were compulsory for only students that were interested in pursuing a career in Banking, Insurance, and other areas of the economic sector. This created a vacuum that was filled by interest in flashy toys and being 'on trend'. This led to waste of money and the 'get-rich-quick' mentality prevalent in our society today that has led otherwise bright young people to be involved in different vices that have further wrecked the good name and economy of this country.

I believe that it is not only necessary, but it is compulsory that everyone, from the youngest to the oldest, who can spend money has some form of knowledge of good personal finance skills. This can be done through continuing these finance-related seminars and events past this week, making some form of personal finance subject available to kids in school regardless of their choice of career path, and airing personal finance-related programs on radio and television stations.

Little drops of water, they say, makes a mighty ocean. These efforts, no matter how little, can make a huge difference in each individual and the way we see money. And consistently, we could all become financially-responsible people.


- The Lady

“Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.”

James 3:13

MY SWEET ESCAPE

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"Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories." - Caroline Rhea

The inspiration for this post? Biscuits! Hahaha...
Anyone who knows me personally, follows me on social media, or has been a regular on this blog knows that I have a serious love affair with anything sweet. I am an unrepentant foodie and 'sugarholic' and I am not sorry about that.

Something funny happened today after the group's meeting. The meeting had begun a little later than scheduled but the timing did not take away from the purpose of the gathering. The meeting went well. And at some point, refreshments had to be served to all members in attendance. After everyone had been served, I proceeded to take some biscuits for myself as I had helped in serving others.

I had just picked some crackers and juice when I noticed that one of the biscuits was being added to those to be served. Compared to others, it looked like Oluchi Orlandi serving ice cream! It was really just some creamed biscuits, but it looked like Macaroons. Sweet Jesus! I went for it immediately. The second I pointed at it, one of my group members(for the rest of this post, we will call her Darling) who was with me adviced me not to have it as it was packed with sugar. That I should rather have the crackers, as she has had it and it was nice.

"Wetin be this?" (What is this?), I thought. Another fellow group member(let's call her Honey) that was with us told her that she did not think I needed to be counting calories as I was not fat. Long story short, I ended up taking one of the creamed biscuits as against the 2 I had intended to go for. Compromise. Everyone was happy.

For the sake of our health, we have been advised, and it is necessary for us, to be mindful of what we eat to avoid health problems and complications later on in our lives. I know that our health is really important, but I believe that some people are getting it all wrong. Healthy eating habits, little dieting(if necessary), lots of water and exercise are steps to living a healthy lifestyle. But some people make it look, and feel, like a punishment. Completely avoiding things like bread, white rice and pasta.

But the thing is that pasta doesn't make you fat, it is how much pasta you eat that makes you fat. It's not in what you eat, it's in how much of it you eat. I finish jars of Nutella like no man's business(don't wait up for an apology love), but I compensate for that in other ways. I take lots of water, I take any excuse to go for a walk down the street, etc.

I am not as interested in counting the calories as I am in enjoying what I eat. And through the years, I have hardly had a need for a gym membership or strict diet plans. Once you have to start counting calories, it takes away the joy of eating. Take the pressure off. Eat in portions, enjoy the meals, drink lots of water, and if you can't make it to the gym, take a walk. It will do you good.



- The Lady

“And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.”

Genesis 1:29

WHEN IT ALL COMES CRASHING

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"There are in nature, neither rewards nor punishments - there are consequences." - Robert G. Ingersoll

Before I continue, I would like to put this out first. I am not being judgemental, neither am I writing this from a Lawyer's point of view. This is me stating my thoughts about our actions and its effects. Simply as I feel it.
There are a lot of things I love in life - colours, happy people, pastries, ice cream, and the list goes on. But in sports, I loved Tennis. I still do. And it broke my heart when Maria Sharapova admitted to having failed a drug test. The drama caused her to lose her endorsements with Nike, Porshe, and Tag Heuer. And now, the UN has suspended her as a Goodwill Ambassador. All because of what she called a 'mistake' with the drug, meldonium.
Last week, back here in Nigeria, the Court of Appeal, upheld Ibinabo Fiberesima's 5-year jail term for driving recklessly, supposedly under the influence of alcohol, which led to the death of one Dr. Giwa Suraj about 10 years ago.
I refrain from commenting on whether or not the 'punishments' metted out to either of these women are deserving or not. I am in no position to do so. But daily in life, we make choices and decisions that, with or without our conscious effort, affects us and those around us. The choices we make, whether good or bad, follows us forever, and affects everyone in our path, one way or another.
We may not choose or like it to be so. But it is a constant in life. Cause and effect. They follow each other. Therefore, we ought to be careful with the choices we make in life. If you build the guts to do something, anything at all, then you better save enough to face the consequences. As there will always be consequences, good or bad. We all make choices, but in the end, our choices make us.


- The Lady

“Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.”

James 2:24

LIFE NUGGET: LEARN

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who can not read and write, but those who can not learn, unlearn, and relearn." - Alvin Toffler

Learning never ends. There is so much truth in those 3 words. Daily we grow, and daily we ought to learn. Growth is an important aspect of life, as is change. For one to keep growing, one needs to be open about everything in life. And by being open, I mean being objective about everything, being ready to learn new things, and not thinking that we know all that there is to know about anything.
Growing up means exploring, being curious, making mistakes, and learning from them what life really is about. Things happen daily, everything changes at some point, and that change is the end result of all true learning. With the change and innovations in different aspects of our living, especially in technology, we have grown and learnt to do things differently from the way we used to do them.
Learning never exhausts the mind. True wisdom is a lifelong acquisition - the older you get, the wiser you become, if you only let yourself learn. In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn. Be involved in things happening around you, that's the easiest way to learn.
But it all begins with letting yourself learn. Learn to love, and heartbreaks will teach you to love better. Learn to feel, your feelings bring understanding. Learn to practice, and with each trial comes perfection. And most of all, learn to read, even if it is one book in a month, and with each book, you will go places, learn and experience things you may not be able to for whatever reason.
Grow, change, learn. And through it all, never lose yourself.
Have a great day lovelies!


- The Lady

“Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;”

2 Corinthians 3:5

MOTIVATION MONDAY: DEFEATS

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"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. Infact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." - Maya Angelou

Oh Maya! Her words were, and still are, all relevant. Like Nelson Mandela(and many others that I can't begin to name for brevity of this post), she is someone whose death hurt me terribly because it meant an end to my wish to sit and chat with her for, at least, 30 minutes. I miss her though I never met her.
Anyway, getting back to the post for today. I'm sure we all had a restful weekend. Like always, 'Mr. Monday morning' is here to jolt us to reality and all its excitements, pressures and expectations. One area of that reality is the possibility of failures and defeat. It touches on something that we have all felt, at least once.
No matter how hard we try to avoid it, we encounter some type of defeat in one area of our life or the other. It is a reality that some people expect, and even fewer people plan for steps they would take when faced with it. Refusing to acknowledge its existence or the fact that you could be faced with it is not advisable as it could lead to hurt, break down, and/or loss of confidence.
Knowing that it exists and that we could be faced with it at any time, our best step is to acknowledge that we have been faced with it, refuse to let it weigh us down, and work out a strategy for how to get through it. When faced with defeat, our attitude towards it is what will determine if we will end our stories as victors or failures.
How you choose to perceive your circumstances contributes to how you react to the circumstances. Having a winning attitude, one that sees strength in every let down, is what sets the winners apart from the losers. Seeing that defeat as just a setback that is setting you up for a come up is key to you making progress and thus, succeeding in the future.
So don't let failures and defeats, or the possibility of them, bring you down and stop you from going for what you want. There might be an important lesson to be learnt from that experience. Let yourself grow through it, learn from it, and come out of it bigger and better than before.
Have a great and productive day!


- The Lady

“What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”

Romans 8:31

THE LADY'S DIARIES: CLARITY

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"...despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you, as deeply as they have met themselves. This is the heart of clarity." - Matt Kahn

Ever met someone whose actions always had a way of hurting you or others? I sure have. And my dad realisation is that many times, these people don't know, or don't care about, the effect their actions have on other people.
I used to be bothered when people don't understand me, or do hurtful things to me. I even tried to understand them, but I have left that to higher levels of understanding. I can only help myself and those who want or need my help. And most of these people, most times, don't want your help. That's how I see it.
I guess my 'big sister syndrome' closed my eyes to the fact that some people will only treat you as good as they can treat themselves. Someone who doesn't love herself cannot love you. It's not rocket science. It's a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living soul.
Some of us care too much about someone who doesn't give a dot about us and we expect that person to wake up one day to this reality. When really, we are the ones who need to wake up to that reality. Clarity and focus doesn't always come to you from God or inspirational quotes. Sometimes it takes your mother to slap the reality back into you.
Lack of clarity could put the brakes on any journey to success in any area of life. People who have no vision or clarity will look for ways to distract others from their paths. But sometimes, you need the blurry moments to make you focus on the clearer picture.
Realising this has been quite liberating for me. I became more understanding of things around me, and began working on being myself and doing the things that made me happy. The more I remained myself, the clearer I became to me.
Find clarity on the things in your life, and it will help make life easier.
Have a great week ahead!
With love...


- The Lady

“And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.”

‭‭Acts‬ ‭20:32‬

SOUNDS OF LAUGHTER

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"I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh." - Maya Angelou 

Anyone who knows me personally knows how much I love to laugh. No matter my mood, I try to keep a cheerful face. Why? I don't know. But what I do know is that it has helped me through a lot of funny situations.
I was reminded of the importance of keeping a cheerful face yesterday. Apparently, it has been a stressful past 2 weeks. And as a human being, it began to get to me at some point. (Body no be firewood abeg!) It began like a normal day, everything was going well, I had planned to rest a little, do a little reading, and end the day as my spirit leads.
Then bam! I got one of those phone calls that reminds you to plan for contingencies. Something had come up and I had to be at some place as part of my service to my country. Who am I to refuse? So I did as I was required to and went off to be of service. It turns out that we would have to wait. And I HATE waiting. I have no patience for reception rooms or offices. 
Long story short, I had been waiting for what felt like centuries, and suddenly, I began to sing. Each song brought memories, some of which were funny so I laughed at the memory of those funny moments. The sound of my laughter drifted to the ears of some of those around and led to me making friends that helped me out of that situation. Testimony you may call it, but I know that it happened that way because I laughed.
Laughter helps people see the funny, interesting, and somewhat approachable side of you. Making it easy to relate with you, hence, be kind to you. Scientists have even said that it eases stress and helps prolong life. A little bit of laughter does a lot to not just your insides, but to your outside too. It helps open doors, it heals, and it uplifts.
No matter how sour things may be, a little bit of laughter could work some wonders for you.
Have a laughter-filled weekend.


- The Lady 

“There is none holy as the Lord: for there is none beside thee: neither is there any rock like our God.”

1 Samuel 2:2

LIFESTYLE: HELP

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"Our prime purpose in life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them." - Dalai Lama

Helping people has always been a weakness of mine. I feel sad whenever someone comes to me with a problem and I have no idea or means to assist that person in solving that problem. I guess it's the 'big sister syndrome' or something, but I always try to help others in any way I can. But the truth is that it is not always fun helping.
Some people have ways of frustrating whatever effort you make or have made on their behalf. I'm sure that anyone who has helped others in one way or another have had, at least, one bad experience that was strong enough to convince them not to help anyone again. And, on the part of the 'helpee', there must have been, at least, one experience that has made you decide against seeking for help.
As I always say, it's the world we live in. There will definitely be good and bad experiences. It's the way we handle the experiences that matters. Rather than focusing on the bad experiences, why don't we learn from them and move on? No man can exist alone, at some point, you may need help or may be in a position to help others. Looking back on those bad experiences will be of no use to anyone.
Sometimes, because of fear or pride, some people do not ask for the assistance they need. Their attitudes might show it, but they won't use words to let anyone know that they need help. Cries for help are frequently inaudible. At these times, you may be inclined to ignore those people. But is that really what life is about? I think not.
I believe in purpose, that we are here for a reason, if not for various reasons. And while here, we are to be angels to one another. Be an opener of doors. Help in whatever way you can, even if the other person is incapable of appreciating your efforts. Do it for you, not for them. And in our little ways, we could contribute in making the world better.
Have a lovely day darlings!


- The Lady

Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.”

Psalms 37:3

I MISSED IT!

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"Thank you for existing, for being you, for being there." - Abiriba Racheal

I got carried away by the excitement of having this space that I can call mine, the opportunity to write whatever was in my heart and share it with you lovelies, and the activities of my life that I missed it. I missed the moment to celebrate the lovely milestone of having achieved a goal I had set for myself. My goal of writing and posting my thoughts for 100 days! 🙈😢
Terribly sad about it. But I believe it is not too late. At least, yesterday's post was my 100th post and I noticed it today. I will celebrate it no less. But first, with this 101st post, I want to say a very big 'THANK YOU!' to each and every one of you sweethearts who took time out of your busy schedules to come on here and read my thoughts, not minding if they were crazy or reasonable.

I am extremely grateful for your time and support, for following this space and sharing my posts on other social networks, for inviting others to come read my posts...for everything! I never knew if anyone was going to read my posts or be interested enough to come back daily. But you all did. And I am beyond grateful! God bless you all!!! It may not be a big deal to some, but it means a LOT to me. So, I will say it again. Thank you so much!
I will definitely be celebrating this but I have not one clue on what to do as I have got stuff to do today. But I will begin the celebrations this morning anyway. With a couple more minutes in bed, catch the first episode of Game of Thrones 6(if my network and Netflix will allow me to be great!), and, if possible, a cupcake on my way to my group meeting this morning.
But seriously(like I'm ever not serious *rolls eyes*), I love you all and I am extremely humbled by the support.
Thanks again, and have an awesome day!
*Kiss Kiss*


- The Lady

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

Psalms 37:4

DEALING WITH THE PLAGUE OF UNCERTAINTY

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"Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of 'not knowing'." - Mark Z. Danielewski

We have all had those times. Those times of complete uncertainty about an issue that we are faced with. I have had my own share of those. I remember the pain. It felt like my head was about to explode. I had been thinking all day the day before, and the next day was no different. But after all the thinking, I don't think I got to any reasonable conclusion.
Lesson learnt? No matter how hard you think when stressed and uncertain about an issue, you will end up stressing yourself the  more instead of arriving at a reasonable conclusion. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what is going to happen next.
We romaticise the idea of everything going the way we plan, but in the real world, issues come up. It is perfectly normal to not have figured everything out. The ultimate challenge in life is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop learning to grow and learn. In a way, I think it is the beauty of being alive - figuring things out as you grow.
The pressure of having everything figured out and everything going as planned can totally stress you out and may cause your head to explode (or implode, depending on the seriousness of the issue). Not forgetting that it could rob you off the opportunity to enjoy every moment of life.
So live life, one moment at a time. If you have figured everything out and it is all going as planned, great for you. But if you are still trying to figure it all out, or things are not going as planned, take a deep breath, focus on the things that you can handle or change, and always remember to trust yourself.
Have a great day lovelies!


- The Lady

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.”

Proverbs 18:10

LIFE NUGGET: BE FEARLESS

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"Being fearless is not being 100% not fearful, it is being fearful but you jump anyway." - Taylor Swift

It is impossible to be fearless! Yes, I said it. You can only learn to control your fears and learn from it. But to be completely fearless, that is humanly impossible. You were put on this Earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and do it courageously.
With courage, you can be fearless. It is fearless to go to bed at night knowing that anything could happen in your sleep. It is fearless to wake up daily and leave your house, knowing that accidents happen everyday. It is fearless to put your time and effort into working on a task or a project not knowing if you will fail or succeed. It is fearless to do what you want and to be yourself not minding what people may say or do to you.
It is fearless to truly and completely fall in love with someone not knowing if they really love you or are just there for the ride. And when things are not going the way they ought to, it is fearless to be able to let go when all you want to do is hold on. It is fearless to just be alive, not knowing where or when you would breathe your last. It is fearless to just be you even if the world wants to make you conform to its standard.
Knowing this, what then have you got to lose by courageously being you and doing what you can daily, regardless of failures, doubts, and discouragements. Nothing I believe. Just let go of the thoughts and emotions that will hold you back from going for what you want and deserve.
Live your life...fearlessly!

P/s: This is for the ladies. It is the International Women's Day, don't forget to celebrate yourself!


- The Lady

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”

Psalms 23:4

MOTIVATION MONDAY: WILLPOWER

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"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius

Before I continue, I would like to apologise for my inability to put up posts for the past couple of days. This past week was stressful to say the least. I fell ill by Tuesday, and by Thursday, when I was convalescing, I had a job that had to be done before Sunday. The only thing that kept me going was my willpower.
That brings me to the topic of today's post, 'Willpower'. Simply put, it is a person's ability to control one's impulses. The ability to exercise self-control. That word 'self-control' gets tossed around a lot but many do not use it at the times it is necessary.
Many let just anybody make them angry, robbing them off much desired happiness and peace. Some let the way they feel distract them from making progress, from seeing the bigger picture. While some people let their emotions make a fool of them in their personal lives. They refuse to apply some much needed willpower at the times they need to the most.
If you really want to be respected by those you love, you must show them, sometimes, that you can survive without them. This shows that you value yourself, and in turn, they would value you. Some people do crazy things just to get others to care for them when really, all they had to do was love themselves first.
Flowing from that, I would add that if you really want to succeed at you goal, or your career, you must show yourself, and others, that you can do what needs to be done to get the job done. This not only makes you an effective worker, it also helps secure your job, and possibly, career progress.
Understand that you can be the master of what you do, not what you feel. So, don't be too hard on yourself, rather, get over your feelings and keep working hard. Everyone is seeking happiness. And the way to get it is by controlling your thoughts. Your  happiness depends on how you feel inside.


- The Lady

“There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

Joshua 1:5

NAUGHTY BODY

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"Time spent alone is time spent well." - Wendy Nguyen

This has been one of those couple of days that your body decides to do what it likes and just fall ill without any previous warnings. And I totally hate it. The inability to do whatever you want, the smell of medication, the feeling that your body has betrayed you.
Anyway, I've been forced by this body of mine to take a break from my normal activities and take care of it. Its wish is my command. Therefore, here I am, in bed, on a work day, doing the less stressful thing that I can be doing - writing. Even if it is just about myself.
But, I can't say that it has been all bad. I try to see some good in any situation I find myself, thus, I see this as my body trying to force me to have some 'me' time. And, though I can't get my mind off the things that I should be doing right now rather than being in bed, I appreciate the time spent reflecting on life and being grateful for where I am in life. I may not be where I had hoped to be, but, I am definitely thankful to be where I am.
That said, don't let your body force you to take a break before you can appreciate life, take some time off, do something fun, and make your body happy.
Lots of love...


- The Lady

“The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.”

Psalms 18:2

LIFE NUGGET: BE OBJECTIVE

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"Tomorrow is a fresh opportunity to make it better." - Zig Ziglar

As humans, life throws challenges at us daily. And the problem is not that we cannot face those challenges head on, it is that we remember the way(s) we had failed at other challenges in the past and we begin to think that we cannot handle the present challenges. Hence, we begin to fail before we begin.
Is it therefore right to conclude that our ability to remember is a drawback? No. Our ability to remember is there to help us learn from past mistakes and experiences. But we require the ability to be objective about life, to be able to see each day and each challenge as a new, or different day or challenge. That way, we can deal with the fear that acts as a barrier to our dealing critically with each day.
But our ability to do this is hinged, in some way that may look insignificant, on the way we ended the day before. This is the reason why people who go to bed with a lot of anxiety, wake up the next day, and, without dealing with that anxiety, begin the new day with a lot of fear. This leads them into making almost the same, if not the exact, mistakes of time past.
The ability to be objective helps us deal with each fact separately, without being affected by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice, being unbiased. Always end the day with a positive thought, no matter how hard things were. And you will be able to see your mistakes, learn from them, and deal with new challenges objectively.
Have a great day!


- The Lady

“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.”

Isaiah 43:18