"I may not have the power to change what the media puts out there, or to single-handedly convince young girls like me that they should love themselves. But what I can do is start with me living each day. Embracing who I am." - Danielle Brooks
As the saying goes, 'things happen for a reason'. I am one of those who believe in that. And even more now that I see things differently than before. This is my personal growth story but I am, and my story is, still evolving. The perfectionist in me would love to wait until a 'perfect time', but, as part of my personal development plan is to see life as a circle of perfect timing, I will tell it anyway as there are people like me who could learn from it.
I have not always been this person who cares much about what happens to people that are not my family, friends, relatives, or myself. I believed that everyone had their own lives to live and did not need any help from anyone. I believed that life was a personal race, a sprint, and the best thing was to run your own race and leave others to theirs. Except THEY decide for it to be a relay race and hand the baton to me, I had no business being in their business.
That was until things changed for my family that 'nearly' destroyed life as I knew it. Certain people I regarded as more of family than relatives took it upon themselves to make decisions on behalf of my family that 'nearly' destroyed the reality my siblings and I had grown up in for their own reasons. I was way too young, but I had an elder's mind. Despite the maturity of my mind, I was weak. I started making making mistakes because of the anger, frustration, and disappointment I felt then. Mistakes that shaped me into who I now am.
I tried hiding all that negative energy when I was around people, especially my siblings, as I did not want to be the centre of a 'pity party'. But that was no good. I was smiling on the surface but suffering inside. I was never really happy, always 2 seconds away from a sour mood. Years went by before I stopped letting my emotions loop me around a never ending roller coaster of pain, anger, frustration, sorrow, and mistakes.
After several 'failed' attempts to change the situation of things in my life, I finally made a decision to change my personal story and my life and I committed to that decision. At first, I forced myself to live life with a positive attitude, one day at a time. At some point, I realised that I had forgiven those relatives without any apology from them(not that I expected any), I had begun to really love myself and my life, and it was now normal for me. I had this burst of energy and hope everyday, all without faking it or forcing it.
I loved the results, but I loved the way I felt about life even more. I began to make better decisions. I took notes of almost anything that got into my head, I wrote down my dreams and expectations for my life, I even wrote detailed plans of how I wanted to achieve those dreams. I began investing in my faith, reading my Bible, attending fellowships, and praying. I did everything I could not to go back to being that weak, unhappy person again, for my sake, for my family, and for my unborn children.
Private person that I am, it's hard to believe that I am telling my account of the not-so-proud parts of my life. But if it will help people, even just one person, then I'll gladly do it over and over again. My name is Abiriba Racheal Nene, and I have been fighting to take back ownership of my life. Despite my mistakes and people's opinions of me, I am still living my life, loving my life, and growing into the strong woman I know I am inside.
I hope that this wakes you up to who you are, what powers live within you, and helps you focus on your purpose on this Earth regardless of the noise of other people who try to distract you from your path with their negativity. Don't get distracted, stay strong, and work hard to make yourself first, then others, proud to know you. It won't be easy, but the results are worth it!
Have a great day!
P/s: Thanks to you, the blog will be going through some upgrades. Most important of which is that posts will now consistently be up on Saturdays to better serve you. Thank you for being here!
Love...
- The Lady
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28
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