2016 Edit: The Gratitude Roundup

Photo Credit: Lindi

"Seeds of faith are always within us; sometimes it takes a crisis to nourish and encourage their growth." - Susan Taylor

I caught myself with tears in my eyes a few times while preparing the draft for this post.
2016 has been one crazy year and as much as I wanted it to end, I can't believe that the last day of the year is finally here! A lot happened that I never knew I would get through, but a lot also happened that I never wanted to end. I had a mix of both and I'm thankful for every one of them.

For the most part, 2016 threw a lot of 'punches'. What with the increased killings in Northern Nigeria, bombing of pipelines in Southern Nigeria, increased cases of insurgents and insurgence, loss of businesses owing to Government-ordered demolition of buildings, the downward spiral of the Naira that led the country into a recession, and all other sad news I can't begin to list.

But 2016 threw punches like a baby because we had awesome news too. We saw the victory of the Super Falcons, the 'victory' of the Nigerian Army at Sambisa forest, the release of some of the Chibok girls, the success of a Nigerian movie directed by a Nigerian woman(Kemi Adetiba) at the box office, the surprise visit from Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg, recorded increase in investments in the Nigerian economy, to mention a few.

Even on a personal basis, this is the year I 'grew into myself', I became more aware of myself and everything going on around me, I faced tough challenges that caused me to stand up for myself and helped make me a stronger person. 2016 taught me about friendship and relationship, about family and commitments, about character and reputation, about being my own boss and making decisions, and generally, about myself.

Did I mention that 2016 saw me post up on this blog for one whole year?! Yes, we clocked one in November but there was no time for a celebration.🙈 We will celebrate it in 2017 though. Will work towards that.

In the end though, I am thankful for every one of you. Those who were always here to read every post, those who subscribed, those who dropped comments, those who sent me mails for advice and support, and those who sent in feedback on areas I needed to improve on. I am beyond thankful for all of you. You made my blogging journey this year worth it!

And as we get ready to face the new year with all its challenges and rewards, I hope we will continue to grow together and get better at all the things that set our hearts on fire.
Happy New Year in advance!💋


- The Lady

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

Hebrews 4:16

THE LADY'S DIARIES: FOR THE SATISFACTION

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"I'm not going to change the world myself, but hopefully those that I am inspiring, motivating, and educating, will educate those around them. That's how we'll make a difference." - Massy Arias

It's been quite a while I wrote in the 'diary'. There's no simple way to explain why. But, if you have, or can, ready the posts that I labelled 'DIARIES', you would see that they are all my personal, and mostly private, feelings about things that have happened to or around me that week.

This week's diary is not different. Someone had come on my blog and read some of my posts. And typical me, I expected some sort of criticism. I love to know what people think or feel about things, my blog is no exception. I can be headstrong at times, but I love to listen to those who have  a constructive view on things. I find myself seeing things through a perspective that may have been different from mine.

Anyway, this person said, "Why do you write about 'these' things? You are a girl. Why don't you write about fashion, makeup, and all those girly things?" Putting it nicely, I was disappointed to have heard something like that from a fellow young person who is growing up and ought to be curious about life.

Yes, it was what this person felt. But my disappointment came from the fact that this person expected me to do what others were doing just because I am girl. Without considering if I will be good at it, if I had a passion for those things, or if that was the direction I wanted to go.

In this post, I had asked some questions that were meant to help people focus on being persons who knew themselves well and loved themselves for whom they were. I believe that in knowing and loving yourself, you would be able to live in true happiness, and in loving what you do, you would achieve great results.

I love to see growth and progress. There's enough hate in the world already. If my generation of young people can see and love themselves for whom they are, we will be halfway to where we ought to be. I love talking about things that would bring out the best in people. So, why don't I write about it?

Writing about anything that inspires and motivates people is one way I can contribute, from where I am and using what I have, to making a difference in the world. Even if it is just one person. I would be beyond satisfied. Because that person may inspire another, who may inspire another, and it could go on.

So, if you are reading this, don't let it stop at you. Talk to people, motivate them, share this post if you will. But whatever you do, try to make a positive difference in the lives of those around you. It may be in a small way, but, that feeling of satisfaction will definitely be worth it.
Have a great week.
I love you...


- The Lady

“That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.”

John 1:9

THE LADY'S DIARIES: CLARITY

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"...despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you, as deeply as they have met themselves. This is the heart of clarity." - Matt Kahn

Ever met someone whose actions always had a way of hurting you or others? I sure have. And my dad realisation is that many times, these people don't know, or don't care about, the effect their actions have on other people.
I used to be bothered when people don't understand me, or do hurtful things to me. I even tried to understand them, but I have left that to higher levels of understanding. I can only help myself and those who want or need my help. And most of these people, most times, don't want your help. That's how I see it.
I guess my 'big sister syndrome' closed my eyes to the fact that some people will only treat you as good as they can treat themselves. Someone who doesn't love herself cannot love you. It's not rocket science. It's a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living soul.
Some of us care too much about someone who doesn't give a dot about us and we expect that person to wake up one day to this reality. When really, we are the ones who need to wake up to that reality. Clarity and focus doesn't always come to you from God or inspirational quotes. Sometimes it takes your mother to slap the reality back into you.
Lack of clarity could put the brakes on any journey to success in any area of life. People who have no vision or clarity will look for ways to distract others from their paths. But sometimes, you need the blurry moments to make you focus on the clearer picture.
Realising this has been quite liberating for me. I became more understanding of things around me, and began working on being myself and doing the things that made me happy. The more I remained myself, the clearer I became to me.
Find clarity on the things in your life, and it will help make life easier.
Have a great week ahead!
With love...


- The Lady

“And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified.”

‭‭Acts‬ ‭20:32‬

I MISSED IT!

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"Thank you for existing, for being you, for being there." - Abiriba Racheal

I got carried away by the excitement of having this space that I can call mine, the opportunity to write whatever was in my heart and share it with you lovelies, and the activities of my life that I missed it. I missed the moment to celebrate the lovely milestone of having achieved a goal I had set for myself. My goal of writing and posting my thoughts for 100 days! 🙈😢
Terribly sad about it. But I believe it is not too late. At least, yesterday's post was my 100th post and I noticed it today. I will celebrate it no less. But first, with this 101st post, I want to say a very big 'THANK YOU!' to each and every one of you sweethearts who took time out of your busy schedules to come on here and read my thoughts, not minding if they were crazy or reasonable.

I am extremely grateful for your time and support, for following this space and sharing my posts on other social networks, for inviting others to come read my posts...for everything! I never knew if anyone was going to read my posts or be interested enough to come back daily. But you all did. And I am beyond grateful! God bless you all!!! It may not be a big deal to some, but it means a LOT to me. So, I will say it again. Thank you so much!
I will definitely be celebrating this but I have not one clue on what to do as I have got stuff to do today. But I will begin the celebrations this morning anyway. With a couple more minutes in bed, catch the first episode of Game of Thrones 6(if my network and Netflix will allow me to be great!), and, if possible, a cupcake on my way to my group meeting this morning.
But seriously(like I'm ever not serious *rolls eyes*), I love you all and I am extremely humbled by the support.
Thanks again, and have an awesome day!
*Kiss Kiss*


- The Lady

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

Psalms 37:4

THE LADY'S DIARIES: GIVING

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"It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving." - Mother Teresa

From the first day of this month, many boutiques and fashion houses in town have been dressing their mannequins in different kinds of outfit in all shades of red fabrics. The restaurants have even thrown in giveaways and discounts in addition to the red ribbons that they had decorated their doors and windows with. The street vendors have refused to be left out as they had numerous goods for sale that had red hearts❤️ and 'I love you' branded on them. Ha ha!
I love this month of love and I especially love love and everything it stands for, but I don't think that I am the only one who feels that this whole 'special day to show that special person that you love them' thing is overrated and has become more clichéd than must have been intended. Like, it's love we are talking about people. Why must it be celebrated in only one day? I mean, if you really love someone and feel that that person is special, why must you need the excuse of one day to make that person feel special? Why must it be only one day? One day out of 365/366 days?
But with the day comes the gifting. And though I love gifts and understand that gifts are a simple way to show how dear a person is to you, I admit that some of the best gifts I have received in my life, I had more sentimental than monetary value towards them. In love, the gift or its cost hardly matters. What matters is that it was given with a heart full of love.
Giving on this day doesn't need to cost you anything.For the married couples out there, a simple breakfast in bed, or a massage is an inexpensive option that shows that you love each other. For the singles, show yourself how you feel about yourself. Spa day alone or with the squad will be great your heart(it is relaxing) and your skin. And if you, like me, prefer long lasting gifts, give yourself a gift of a lifetime by enrolling for a course that will pay off in the future. That is the best self-love I know.
Anyway, the Valentines sales and discounts do come in handy for both business owners and customers. And since I am always happy when other people are happy, I will happily keep loving, everyday, and let others love, if only for today, in peace. Oh! And bring the chocolates and cake over! And if you spy a vino somewhere close? Bring it along too! Lol!
Happy Valentine's Day lovelies!
Wishing you all the love you desire and more!


- The Lady

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

John 3:16

THE LADY'S DIARIES: BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS

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"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature." - Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey.

Hello,

Hope you had a wonderful week? My week was quite quiet. I spent most of the time working, relaxing, and finishing a book that I had been reading, but I managed to get in some time with friends, both new and old. 

On a whole, it was a great week. It was one of those weeks that opens your eyes to see those things that have been hiding right in front of you. And in my case, it was friends. I have always considered myself to be a friendly person. I have friends and have been referred to as a friend to others but I have begun to see that it goes deeper than just saying 'Hello' sometimes and sharing a few laughs. It is more than that. 

We have all heard that phrase 'A friend in need is a friend in deed'. But that is just a tip of who a friend is or ought to be. A friend is not just a person you are on good terms with, or a person who gives you assistance in your times of need. A friend is a mate who, is not necessarily an age mate, knows you, understands you, and is only concerned with your positive growth. 

A friend empowers you and does not remind you of your failures or weaknesses. A friend is mindful of your progress as he or she progresses rather than striving to be above you. A friend helps you find what you want. A friend is always there for you, whether or not you see each other daily. Far or near, a friend is that person you can turn to and know at any point and know that they will always have your back. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part.

I have found friends in places I never expected and they have been through it all with me. Thick, thin, abundance, lack, and everything in between. Even in the strangest places, I found lasting friendships. With my parents and siblings, colleagues and bosses, classmates and clients, even in strangers. 

It takes time to build relationships with people, but being a friend never gets old. You could be the friend somebody needs. Take out time to connect with those who add value to your life, add value to theirs, and one person at a time, we could make the world a better place. Beginning with those around us. 

This is to friends...may we know them, may we have them, and may we be them!

Have a great new week!
With love!

- The Lady 

“Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”

John 15:15

THE LADY'S DIARIES(JANUARY ROUNDUP): JOYFUL JANUARY

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31st of January! 🎶Yeessss🎶

I hope I'm not the only one excited that the first month of the year is officially ending in a couple of hours? It has been one whirlwind of a month, but I won't do anything different. Umm...maybe a few details on eating healthy and exercising, but nothing more.
We began the month, and indeed the year, optimistic and excited about our plans and expectations. We were all full of dreams. But for one reason or the other, some gave up before they began, while some endured through it. Some had nothing going for them while some had a lot going on that they could hardly keep up.
Whatever group we fall in, let's remember to stay focused as we still have life, therefore time, to do what we dream of and want to do. The journey has just begun. Don't lose faith. No matter how challenging it gets, and we know that there will be challenges, let us be ready to be strong, hold our strength up, and keep putting one foot before the other. There is light at the end of the tunnel. For if when we were not conscious of the power we had, we were getting little things done, how much more now that we know of the existence of that power within us. Can you imagine the greatness you are yet to unleash? Can you now understand the reason why I am excited about the month of January coming to an end?
So please be ready. Double that energy you had at the beginning of the year. You know, that one that kept you excited about your New Year resolutions? Yes! Stay focused on your plans. Do the necessary research, gather the necessary knowledge and resources, and keep moving. Some persons or situations may try to weigh us down. But remember to motivate yourself, and never doubt your strength.
Have a great Sunday!


- The Lady 

“O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭8:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

THE LADY'S DIARIES: WHAT MATTERS MOST

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"Good humour is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment." - Grenville Kleiser.

Have you ever just stayed and felt lost in yourself and your surroundings? Like you're on slow motion while everything around you is going super fast? Well, that was me this week. This has been one of those weeks where it seemed like everything was going wrong. The energy was negative, I was slow at everything, and by Wednesday, I could hardly wait for the week to come to an end. I had to find a way to inject some positivity into the week and cope if not make it better. I did the one thing I knew how to; I concentrated on the things that matter most to me at this point in my life.
First of which was my family and friends. Since I'm living away from home at the moment, I had to call my family. Talking with each of them about anything and everything helped in no little way. I was able to concentrate on the things that were going on in their lives, thereby forgetting mine for a while. It was an escape that was worth it. I also spoke with friends and was lucky to have my best friend come into town this week. Catching up with her was awesome! Lots of laughter and gossip. If not for the crazy week I was having, her presence would have been more fun than it was.
After I had handled my family and friends, I took some time for myself. I focused on my personal needs and expectations, my relationship with people in my life, and went back to my favourite book(The Holy Bible) for help and motivation. I figured that soul-searching was necessary as there was no way I would be feeling this way and a part of me, no matter how tiny, would not have a clue of what the problem was. I removed every thought of external pressures and expectations from me and focused on what was important to ME. Since, at the end of the day, it is me who would have to deal with whatever was the problem. I had to do a mini evaluation of where I was in life and my expectations. And best of all, I tried to laugh as much as I could considering the way I was feeling.
I don't know if I handled it well, but I did feel better after that. It's not an easy thing trying to get through this kind of dark time, but remembering that YOU are important and have to get through that rut for YOUR own sake is the most important thing. Sometimes, these sad moments are necessary as they help you appreciate those happy moments you might have taken for granted.
Learn to adjust, but never take your happiness or priorities for granted. Be in charge of your life no matter how low you are feeling. Have a great week!


- The Lady

“And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:13

THE LADY'S DIARIES: LIVING BEYOND SURVIVAL

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"Opportunities don't happen, they are created." - Abiriba Racheal

Hello you! Hope you had a great Sunday? I sure did.

Anyway, I have a question that leads to what I'll be writing today. In a classroom setting, are you one of those who asks and answers questions in class, or are you one of those who probably know the answer, or maybe don't, but would rather sit and wait for others to ask and answer? 

I fall in the second group. All my life, I don't think I willingly asked or answered any questions in school. If I had a question, I'd tell someone to ask on my behalf, or write the question and pass it to the lecturer. And if I knew the answer to a question, I'd tell someone the answer or keep quiet until someone else answers. I thought that this was just an attitude to school, but as I grew older, I found that this was more than that. It was a survival technique.

This is life. We all have things we are going through, individual battles we are fighting. Everyone is going through something, or generally figuring life out. You are not alone in this journey of life. But what separates us all is our attitude to life. Some people face life head on, doing what they want, what makes them happy. While some just try to be good, play it safe, and avoid any complications. I try to live life with as little danger and complications, and it was good for me. Not great. Until I woke up to the possibilities and opportunities that life had to offer. I started taking chances, daring myself, and it was liberating. I decided that whenever I'm faced with an opportunity, I should do the opposite of what I used to do. I decided to stop surviving and start living. 

Has my decision been put into action? Yes. Has the result been positive? Sure has! I was recently faced with an opportunity to write for a group I was part of, and, contrary to what I would have done, I volunteered for the spot. Was it scary? Yes. But it didn't kill me. On the contrary, I felt this surge of energy and purpose. Like I was making progress, I could do anything. And so can you. 

Stop waiting for the right time. I don't think that there's a right time to start anything anyway. Just start. Live. Choose to do what really excites you. You either create opportunities for yourself or catch any available opportunity. The minute it takes you to wait 'until you are ready' or until you are sure', know that it takes another person the same time to (decide to) grab that opportunity. 

Just take the chances, you may find your best abilities in being creative as you go. Take a chance, see what happens. You may love it, or you may learn from it. But don't burn your opportunities for temporary comfort. So on a daily, get up, dress up, show up, and never give up on yourself or your abilities.

- The Lady 

   “And he said unto them, Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find. They cast therefore, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes.”

                     John 21:6 

THE LADY'S DIARIES: CATCHING UP WITH TRADITION(IGBA EKPE)

Hello!!!

I'm sorry for not putting up posts for the past few days. I have been unavoidably unable to use the internet as I have been at my village and the cell reception there is too weak to do anything with except make calls and send messages.(NCC what's up now?) But I'm back now. 

And I'm glad I took this week to relax in the village! It has been almost eleven years since the last time I made it to the village and that was with my family and under sad circumstances. But this time, I went on my own and under better circumstances.

I arrived at the best time possible as lots of people had left the village for their homes, both in and out of Nigeria, and most of the celebrations were yet to begin. After visiting and catching up with everyone I knew, I went on to do almost all the things that villagers do. I ate every kind of food available, went to the stream, went visiting with relatives... Best of all? I spent some time with my grandma who, in her old age, insisted on cooking for me, and even packed somethings up for me to travel with. She took such good care of me, I felt bad I had not been visiting her as much as I should have. That has got to change!

Anyway, one of the major events that took place during the time I was at the village was an event my people call 'Igba Ekpe'. The Ohafia people and people of some other parts of the Igbo-speaking states of Nigeria call it 'Igboto mma'. It is the same event, just called different names in different places. Control or government of the ancient Igboland was mainly by age-grades and family-heads. At a certain age, members of the oldest age-grade are considered too old to be in such age-grade and eligible to be considered as elders. Hence, the Igba Ekpe/Igboto Mma ceremony, which is a sort of passing-out or graduation ceremony for those members of the oldest age-grade and those who consider themselves old enough to not be identified with any age-grade to be considered as elders. The ceremony which takes a number of months, if not years, to prepare for runs through a number of days, usually a minimum of 2 days. The ceremony is marked with lots of food, music, dance, and extravagant show of clothes, shoes, and jewelries.

Traditionally, a masquerade, the Ekpe, which is usually a member of the age-grade dressed up as a masquerade, dances around the village square. Afterwards, he is given a machete which he ought to use, with just one strike, to cut the head of a goat that has been brought for that reason off. If the person who has been dressed up as a masquerade does this successfully, the 'new elders' can proudly call themselves elders, celebrate, and dance around the village. But if he fails to cut the head off the goat, he has to go in shame and refund every money that everyone had spent in preparation for the ceremony. In recent times, as a result of the growth of Christianity in Nigeria, some people, rather than participate in the traditional festivities, choose to go to church for thanksgiving, in celebration of their lives and growth.

Whichever way one chooses to go about it, whether traditional or Christianity, the bottom line and reason for the ceremony is the celebration of the life of a person while the person is alive, before the celebration of the life of that person by his loved ones at his funeral. So, regardless of the culture and/or religion of a person, the attitude of being thankful for life and celebrating life is not to be overlooked. Life is worth relishing, celebrating, and being thankful for. 

P.s: Whenever you can, try visiting any of the villages in the Igbo-speaking states of Nigeria, especially Abia State, to experience this ceremony for yourself. Best to go with friends and/or family from that part. You will be thrilled!!

- The Lady 

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:2‬