BROKEN COOKIES

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"The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." - Marcel Proust

"Things like that don't happen to people like me."
Ever caught or heard yourself saying that? I have. A number of times. I have lost count of the number. But I can remember that those times, I was either trying to be funny, or I was being unnecessarily humble.*Yes, I have learnt to be brutally honest with myself!* But that is the most disgusting confession anyone can make about themselves. It displays your low self-esteem to the world, and the world responds by giving you crap.

I used to know this girl whose measurement of low self-esteem was below anything I have seen. Hers was as a result of a terribly abusive relationship. It was so bad, she never hung out with friends because she had come to believe that she was not pretty enough to be part of a group of friends, nor was she 'cool' enough to hangout with people.

If you even compliment her on what she wore, she would say something like "Oh. It's just a cheap and old thing." I remember thinking "Something is wrong with this girl" whenever I saw her. Thinking of her now, I wish I had spoken some atom of self-esteem into her, or probably just shook some sense into her. I don't think I ever saw her happy. The thought of it all is just sad.

Low self-esteem has dealt a number on some people that many can not ever recover from. It affects EVERY area of its victims' lives. Their careers, relationships, and general every day lives. It holds people back from going for what they want and deserve.

It and its cousin Mr. Doubt. They are an awful bunch. Like parasites, they feed on every joy and happiness, whether past, present, or future, in the victim's life until the person is empty of everything except existence.

When a victim of low self-esteem gets a great opportunity staring her in the eyes, she ignores it because she has grown to believe that she does not deserve such good thing. She lets go of things that she wants and needs because she doesn't believe that it is for her.

That's the principle of the broken cookies. Some people have become so messed up by low self-esteem and its accompanying cousin, Mr. Doubt, that they now believe that they can achieve nothing. Even things as little as having fun and being happy seem like abominations to them.

If you ever feel this way, know that you are not alone in this. There are a lot of people going through the same thing. But you need to overcome it. You need to remind yourself daily that you deserve the full, unbroken cookies just like every other person. Build yourself and your confidence.

Go on and go after what you really want, need, and deserve.
Hope you are having a great week?


- The Lady

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”

Galatians 5:1

WHAT ARE THEY REALLY ENFORCING?

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"We must hold law enforcement accountable for unjust, incompetent, or intentionally malicious use of deadly force, making it clear that they are not above the law they are sworn to enforce, nor are they allowed to selectively honor their duty to serve, protect, and preserve life." - Earl Graves Snr

Weekly, if not daily, we get reports on different social media platforms of one form of Police brutality or the other. Some of which have been considered as 'minor', but the bulk of which led to deaths. The last of which are those of Alton Sterling a few days ago.

Like that wasn't enough, I just saw a video of a young man, Philando Castile, who did not look like he was up to his 30s, shot in his arm as he tried to get his I.D as the Police Officer had asked him to provide it. His girlfriend who was beside him in the car was videotaping everything as they waited for Police and Medical 'backup'. The last thing I heard before I cut the video was the girl's voice saying "Oh my God, please don't tell me he's dead. Please don't tell me my boyfriend just went like that!"

Why do things like these have to happen? Especially with the Police as the perpetrators of these deaths. Why do they have to be so trigger-happy? A record of about 144 deaths in the US alone as a result of Police brutality, and we only just begun the 7th month of the year!

Now, let me give an answer before anybody asks me "How e take consain you? Na 'jand' you dey?"("How does it concern you? You are not even in the US, are you?") It concerns me. Actually, it concerns everyone of us. For one, we are all human beings. But if you don't understand that answer, then please refer to my last post on Humanity.

Truth be told, the US is not the only place where there are cases of Police brutality. We have had cases of same in Nigeria, and many have led to loss of lives. And the excuses for such cases have ranged from tiredness and drunkenness, to (their favourite) accidental discharge.

These arms they use were given to them to use with 'extreme caution', and any force exerted by a Police Officer on a civilian should be 'reasonable force'. Now, those words, 'extreme caution' and 'reasonable force' are subjective as each individual situation will determine the interpretation of those words. But in most of the cases of Police brutality, especially those that led to the death of civilians, whether or not in Nigeria, the 'test of a reasonable man' in such situations hardly ever fell in favour of the Police Officer.

They, the Police Officers, that were given all that power to enforce justice and protect the rights of the citizens, have become the very ones who enforce injustice and flaunt the rights of the citizens they have sworn to protect. It's really sad and painful. "Who then will protect us on the streets before we get to the Courtrooms?" I hear someone ask. We will. We are the people. And we have the power.

To Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, and every other person all around the world whose lives have been lost, or have been victims of Police brutality in one way or another. To their families, friends, and loved ones, and to every other person in the world still alive. It's our right to be alive, do what is right and stay out of trouble to the best of your ability.
With Love...


- The Lady

“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

Romans 8:18

HUMANTY

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"Don't let the outside world dictate what you should do." - Jules Marcoux

We are the reasons for some of our 'problems'. Every 'smart' one of us. We put ourselves in situations that, most times, require us to be just human and simple. But we complicate things by trying to play by rules of stereotypes, racism, tribalism, and all those other '-isms' that we complicate our lives with. 

We are all similar if not the same. Every one of us humans. Black or white, fat or thin, Igbo or Yoruba. Our age, size, or nationality does not make us different in anyway. The only thing that we can call 'different' about each of us is our beauty and grace that is unique to each of us.

The problem is that we love the easy route to any destination. If we don't understand the next person, we chalk it up to them being different because of their tribe, race, skin, financial or social status in the society. Forgetting the basic thing: our similarity as humans.

Personally, I believe that the root of most, if not all, of our biggest problems in life is our fear of being in touch with our 'humanity'. The core of us being human. And that fear is well grounded because, in comparison with the way of life of the world around us, our humanity can make us seem, and feel, vulnerable. And vulnerability is a risk many are not willing to take.

But, to simplify our lives, we need to re-learn the essence of being alive. Like little children. We need to be able to be honest with ourselves about how we feel, what matters in life, and try to understand others and how they feel too.

Understanding. That's what it all boils down to. Not our selfish interests, or the thrill of winning above every other person. But understanding ourselves and understanding the next person. Understanding that the power to shape your life is in your hands and not in control of some evil person.

It is easier to blame others than to own up to the role(s) we played in the situation. But we need to recognize that other people are not always the problem. We are sometimes the problem. We can only see this if we are honest with ourselves.

Life is beautiful when we see ourselves for who we are, with all of our beauty and flaws. Rather than complicating life with all the unnecessaries, we ought rather to look inside us, find our inner beauty and our individual uniqueness. No psychic or fairy godmother can do this for us but us. 

It is not going to be easy. But boy...is it worth it!

Have a great new month!

- The Lady

“No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.”

John 10:18