Renewing The Mind

Photo Credit: Author's

"By doing what has to be done to avoid past mistakes, you prepare yourself for the incredible future God has in store for you." - DeVon Franklin

Personal growth and development is not as easy or as difficult as some may think. It is one of those things that require a serious commitment on the part of the individual for it to have a fighting chance of working. Without committing to it, you will, at best, be stuck at the stage where you know that you need to make some changes but nothing is being done. Hence, the mind of an individual is very key to the success of his/her personal growth journey. This takes us to today's post. Let's jump right into it, shall we?

Renewing the mind is not as scary as it sounds but it is a very important process in any success story. For some, it may not require an extreme transformation or metamorphosis, and for some, it might. Different strokes for different folks. To renew here is used more in the context of replacing or replenishing something that has broken or been exhausted as opposed to making something new.

We are humans not machines. As much as we may want to be made 'new', except in the physical sense with the help of natural and surgical procedures, we can only make adjustments to give us the illusion of something 'new'. That said, renewing the mind, in the context of this post, implies a re-education, remoulding, or reconfiguration of the way the mind works so that our actions, or inactions, may produce our desired results.

Every of our actions and inactions begins from our minds, our subconscious if I may refer to it as that. Therefore, an understanding of how our minds work will make it easier for us to accept ourselves for who we are, and help us figure out how to progress as individuals. When I had to do this, I took some time for myself, about an hour before I went to bed each day, book and pen in hand. I wrote everything I did each day, separating the things I loved from those that got me sad and angry.

At the end of 2 weeks(that was the personal target I had set for myself), I had a better understanding of who I am, the things I love and hate, what makes me happy, sad, angry, hurt, etc, the things I had to continue doing and those I had to stop. It was a period of clarity that helped me figure out how different things and people affected my daily life, what I wanted to do with my life, those around me who were, or had the potential of, either pulling me down or lifting me up.

Saying that this was an amazing experience will be a gross misrepresentation of the facts(there I go sounding like a lawyer! *rolls eyes* Lol!). But it was a truly awesome experience. It was like I was getting to know this new person that had been living in my body. I began to see myself in a different light, with a renewed interest and extreme love and respect for myself. That was more than enough to make me get excited about life and being alive.

So?! What are you waiting for? Set a timed target for you to review all your thoughts, actions, and relationships with people, family members included. At the end of each day, write down in different sections the things and people you love, those that didn't cut it, the ways they affected you(sad, angry, happy, etc), those you should cut off and those that should definitely be continued with. Do it whichever way you want, but in a way that would help you figure out life easier.
Have fun getting to know the real you and renewing your mind. Can't wait to meet you!
Love...


- The Lady

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Romans 12:2

I Will Be Next To You

Photo Credit: Instagram

"People can not change who you are and what you were born to be." - Iyanla Vanzant

Words cannot describe or express how much I appreciate your response to the last post. The feedback was humbling to say the least. I mean, I didn't know, and I still don't know, what kind of response I expected, but what I got was beyond my expectations. It literally blew my mind! Thank you a million times and more. You all are more than amazing!

I could not have prayed for a better audience. You all came on here to read the post, you commented on Google+, Facebook, and everywhere I could be reached. Some of you who know me personally even went as far as calling my phone to know how I was doing. I am beyond grateful for the love and support. Thank you very much!

While writing that post, my main intention was to share a part of me with you with the hope that I could help someone out there who was going through the same, if not a similar, thing as I was going through. To save someone from drowning in the endless cycle of pain and mistakes just as I did. I didn't consider how it would all happen, but I knew that telling my story was a start.

And what a great start it was! I not only connected with other people who were living through different types and levels of pain, but sharing my personal growth story gave me a type of peace that I've not had in a while. I don't know how to explain it but all your support gave me a boost to see life in a different, more attractive light.

You all did more for me than you know. Actually, you all did more for me than I set out to do for you.  And that has put me on my toes. That has motivated me to go all out to do more, and be more, for you. This is not just a statement, it's a commitment to be here for every single one of you. Just as that last post was written from a place of love, this commitment is made with love.

For every one of you who is going through a really painful time, I might not be able to take all that pain away at once or all together, but with your help, I will be here to go rid of, and through, it all  with you. For those whose skies are gray, we would paint it blue together. For those in tears, we would stop the tears together.

We would get through this journey of life and enjoy it. But we can only do that when we support and build each other up. And the best way to do this is together. With all of us, standing tall next to each other, helping each other write our individual personal growth stories, and helping each other make the necessary commitments to see those stories take shape.

There will be times when we won't understand what we are doing, or, we even forget why we are doing it. But if we do it together, it will all be easier to figure out. And at the end, we will all be thankful for this journey of life and the pain that brought us all together. But it can only happen if you let me in, and let me walk through this life next to you.
Do have yourself a great weekend!


- The Lady

“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

Romans 15:13

My Personal Growth Story (Part 1)

Photo Credit: Getty Images

"I may not have the power to change what the media puts out there, or to single-handedly convince young girls like me that they should love themselves. But what I can do is start with me living each day. Embracing who I am." - Danielle Brooks

As the saying goes, 'things happen for a reason'. I am one of those who believe in that. And even more now that I see things differently than before. This is my personal growth story but I am, and my story is, still evolving. The perfectionist in me would love to wait until a 'perfect time', but, as part of my personal development plan is to see life as a circle of perfect timing, I will tell it anyway as there are people like me who could learn from it.

I have not always been this person who cares much about what happens to people that are not my family, friends, relatives, or myself. I believed that everyone had their own lives to live and did not need any help from anyone. I believed that life was a personal race, a sprint, and the best thing was to run your own race and leave others to theirs. Except THEY decide for it to be a relay race and hand the baton to me, I had no business being in their business.

That was until things changed for my family that 'nearly' destroyed life as I knew it. Certain people I regarded as more of family than relatives took it upon themselves to make decisions on behalf of my family that 'nearly' destroyed the reality my siblings and I had grown up in for their own reasons. I was way too young, but I had an elder's mind. Despite the maturity of my mind, I was weak. I started making making mistakes because of the anger, frustration, and disappointment I felt then. Mistakes that shaped me into who I now am.

I tried hiding all that negative energy when I was around people, especially my siblings, as I did not want to be the centre of a 'pity party'. But that was no good. I was smiling on the surface but  suffering inside. I was never really happy, always 2 seconds away from a sour mood. Years went by before I stopped letting my emotions loop me around a never ending roller coaster of pain, anger, frustration, sorrow, and mistakes.

After several 'failed' attempts to change the situation of things in my life, I finally made a decision to change my personal story and my life and I committed to that decision. At first, I forced myself to live life with a positive attitude, one day at a time. At some point, I realised that I had forgiven those relatives without any apology from them(not that I expected any), I had begun to really love myself and my life, and it was now normal for me. I had this burst of energy and hope everyday, all without faking it or forcing it.

I loved the results, but I loved the way I felt about life even more. I began to make better decisions. I took notes of almost anything that got into my head, I wrote down my dreams and expectations for my life, I even wrote detailed plans of how I wanted to achieve those dreams. I began investing in my faith, reading my Bible, attending fellowships, and praying. I did everything I could not to go back to being that weak, unhappy person again, for my sake, for my family, and for my unborn children.

Private person that I am, it's hard to believe that I am telling my account of the not-so-proud parts of my life. But if it will help people, even just one person, then I'll gladly do it over and over again. My name is Abiriba Racheal Nene, and I have been fighting to take back ownership of my life. Despite my mistakes and people's opinions of me, I am still living my life, loving my life, and growing into the strong woman I know I am inside.

I hope that this wakes you up to who you are, what powers live within you, and helps you focus on your purpose on this Earth regardless of the noise of other people who try to distract you from your path with their negativity. Don't get distracted, stay strong, and work hard to make yourself first, then others, proud to know you. It won't be easy, but the results are worth it!
Have a great day!

P/s: Thanks to you, the blog will be going through some upgrades. Most important of which is that posts will now consistently be up on Saturdays to better serve you. Thank you for being here!
Love...

- The Lady

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28 

Finance Strategising During A Recession In Nigeria

Photo Credit: Getty Images


"Focus is critical to your success, but sometimes, you have to force focus to be focused." - Lanre Olusola, The Catalyst

Firstly, I'd love to welcome you to the the new month. *It's September already. Yay!!* Secondly, it's official, we have slipped into an economic recession in Nigeria. Like things were not bad enough already. But this is not a 'woe-to-me' post. On the contrary, it is aimed at helping us get through these times, and save while at it.

I remember a friend telling me, sometime in December 2015, that it was unfortunate that I'd be serving my country(NYSC) during these financially troubled times. By then, we had not yet slipped into this recession in Nigeria. I decided to make the best of the year. And I'm glad to say that through this crazy economy, especially these past few months, I have 'adjusted' my spending and have turned that 'misfortune' to a testimony. Truly, it is the best thing I have done for my finances! What I did?

SHOP WITH A LIST
I used to be one of those who just walk into the supermarket and pick up anything I feel like. But recently, I started going grocery shopping with a list. It has helped me cut down on unnecessary shopping and helped me really watch what I eat health-wise.

TIME MY PURCHASES
Most stores put various items on sales at the end of the month. So, rather than buy the things I feel I need any time I feel like, I write them down and wait until the end of the month. Most of the things I have written down end up going on sale, and the waiting period helps me evaluate if I really need some of the things on the list. Those that I don't really need gets cut off. You see, a few Naira saved!

PACK MY LUNCH
Since I buy everything in bulk, I end up having so much food at home. And it doesn't make sense to me to buy lunch out when I can make it myself, and be sure of what I put in my body. So, while preparing your breakfast, you can prepare your lunch too and pack it up for the office. This can help you eat healthy too.

TRACK AND NEGOTIATE MY BILLS
Recurrent outflows like transportation, electricity, and waste bills are easily negotiable. And, if you have to port to a different service provider to save money then do. Others like phone bills, especially for those on prepaid plans can easily be cut. If you are one of those who use up to 10,000 Naira on voice/data plans, you might need to cut it a little. Especially if you only use it to chat with family and friends.*rolls eyes*

SHARE THE BILLS
Rather than taking a taxi alone and paying the full bill, why not share a ride with a co-worker who is going the same way with you? You'll pay half the bill and, if it's your thing, enjoy a conversation with the person.

JUST SAVE ALREADY!
No matter how much you earn, with a little management and planning, you can put away one-third or one-quarter of your salary, or whatever works for you, in a savings account. I just found this plan with my bank and its sister insurance company that allows you save a particular amount monthly for a period of time of your choice. During that time, you can only deposit and not withdraw from that account until the end of the agreed period. Of course I registered! *Wink*

Who says that you can't save through this period?! If you put your mind to it and follow these tips, I'm positive that you will see a difference in your savings and finances. Feel free to adjust any of the above tips to suit you, and share any tip(s) you've got in the comments section. Someone might need it.

Do have a great day!


- The Lady

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

Joshua 1:9