SHE IS GROWING!

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"Growth is never by mere chance; it is the result of forces working together." - James Cash Penney

Through the years of my life, I have tried to be best at what I do. Not better than others, just as best as I can be. I don't have a competitive bone in me. I can not compete with anyone for anything. I guess it's because I have this belief that I can get anything I want if I work for it, and working for it does not have to mean going up against anyone who wanted that same thing.

You can imagine where this got me. I remember back in High School, I was selected to participate in track and field activities to represent my house(dormitory). Running or jumping alone, I was told that I did well. But when put against others, I was either slow, or I just stopped completely. When asked about it, I gave excuses.

But the truth was that all those that I had to run or jump against had been friends or just been friendly to me. I couldn't possibly justify competing against friends, and this held me back in different ways. But as I grew older, I realised that I had been cheating myself out of the things that make life worth living. I barely had fun experiences, or fond memories of life spent.

But this is not what life is about. Life is about being 'you', staying alive, doing fun things with people that will become memories, going for what you really want(and if your friends want it too, you all can have fun going for it).

I have done my best to change my life and go for what I want. And as I add one more year to this life I live, I am ready to do more - have fun, go for what I want, make friends, make memories, and generally keep growing into the best version of myself.

This is life, and I'm ready to be more alive!
Can't wait to see the 'me' I grow into. Be sure that I will share the experience with you!
Kisses...😘


- The Lady

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Romans 12:2

SOMETIMES, IT'S SO CLOSE

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"Be honest with yourself about what is truly important to you in your life. You may find that it is already much closer than you think." - Reuben Chavez

Sometimes, things happen that makes us believe that we are alone in this 'rat race' called life. We may have people around us, friends and family, but we still have that vacuum inside of us that we don't know how to fill. That scary emptiness that doesn't disappear despite our forced laughter and dances.

Sometimes that loneliness may be as a result of those we care for getting caught up in their own businesses and having little or no time for us. The loneliness slowly begins to eat us up, tear us apart, and drive us to having crazy thoughts.

Sometimes, they may be at low points in life and our little 'Hello' maybe their saviour. It becomes our duty to check in on them, do what we can for them, put smiles on their faces. And, in that way, we would be putting smiles on our own faces and filling the void we feel inside of us.

Sometimes, that vacuum that exists inside us is there to make us feel how others feel. To push us to fill the void in the lives of others. Sometimes, we search for what to fill the void we feel inside with, but in truth, filling the void that others feel may be the only medicine we need.

Sometimes, all it takes to fill that void is you taking a break and counting your blessings. Think back to the times when you didn't have the things you have now and realize that, just as you have the things you have now, the future you desire is also forthcoming.

Sometimes, all we need is close, if not inside of us. Our family, friends, and colleagues could be all that we need at one point or the other. But at other times, being all we can for them could be all we need for ourselves. All we have to do is recognize it and do the best we can with it.


- The Lady

“Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Romans 12:21

LIFE NUGGET: SEE YOURSELF

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"If I didn't define myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive." - Audre Lorde

You are a result of the choices you make. While a lot of us make no choice at all, some of us waste our time comparing ourselves and our choices to others'. We begin having dreams and fantasies of being other people because of how we perceive them to be.

We fall for the sparkles and beauty we see when we look at others, their accomplishments in various fields and wish we were them. And, in all that, we refuse to see the originality in us. Our uniqueness, our individuality, our victories(no matter how little). We get carried away by the vain things.

We forget that we are all different. With our different strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and our different purposes in life. We fail to recognise that our individuality is what makes us unique, and our purpose is what makes us fulfilled. And only through fulfilling our individual purposes will we truly be who we are.

There will always be people who we believe look better than us, and are doing better than us. Infact, there will be some people who may do something better than us at some point. But, rather than dwell on those people and what they are doing, we can choose to better ourselves and be the best that we can.

At this point is maturity, growth, self-realisation, and success. We begin to really see ourselves, and let go of those distracting images and thoughts that held us back. At the point where we really learn about and accept ourselves for who we really are, that is when we can really say we have succeeded.

Our success in life is, in some way, tied to our definition of ourselves - our state of mind concerning who we are. Life is not a popularity contest, unlike what social media may make some people believe. You can only be your best self when you realise who you are and what you want, as against what others may(want to) make you believe.
Find yourself, see yourself for who you really are, and be yourself.


- The Lady

“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

James 1:8

LIFE NUGGET: KEEP A CIRCLE

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"No man is an island." - Unknown

The importance of a circle, be it of friends, family, etc, cannot be over-emphasised. You are a product of those around you, and what goes into you. As humans, we are naturally learners, some are fast learners, while some are slow. But we typically learn from the things and people around us.

When we are faced with things that are different from what we are used to or are comfortable with, we either run away in revolt, or go closer in curiosity. There are pros and cons of these reactions, but as humans, the choice is ours to make at these times and those choices affect us at some point in life.

I have seen good people, and by that I mean people whose characters were exemplified, change in time owing to their continued association with those of not-so-good characters. Some of these good people had it in them to change I admit. But, some were weak enough to be influenced.

The choices we make as it relates to those we let around us therefore very important. Your circle is the biggest influence in your life. Good or bad. The kind of group you get mixed with reflects in your life. That's why the choices you make as it relates to your relationship with people matters a lot.

You meet people, become friends, depend on and reinforce each other, to the benefit or detriment of each other. It is simply science, 'Symbiosis''. That mutually beneficial relationship with those friends or group can make or break you. It's left for you to decide which you want it to be.

We can be friendly and relatable with everyone, but our circle should be made up of those we know and who know us well enough. People we want to see grow and who want to see us grow. People who motivate and inspire us and people we motivate and inspire. This is a productive symbiosis.

In building your circle, quality matters more than quantity. Number is not so important. Keep your circle tight. Protect yourself and your future. Build a solid, well-rounded, and supportive squad.
Have a great day.


- The Lady

“The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:”

‭‭Numbers‬ ‭6:25‬

MOTIVATION MONDAY: SAY YES

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"The best advice I have ever received is that everyone in the world will want to tell you no, to disregard and diminish your power, so you have to tell yourself yes." - Aja Naomi King

Rejections and discouragements are some of the hardest things to deal with. Especially if you are doing your best to succeed. It hurts more if it is coming from people who are dear and important to you.

But, believe me, it hurts even more if the rejection and discouragement comes from us to ourselves. No rejection or discouragement is worse than those we inflict on ourselves because it goes to the core of our thoughts, actions, and existence.

No matter what we do, if we rely on the encouragement of others, we may have a long wait. People want to see what we can do by ourselves before they can praise or encourage us. So, if we don't praise or encourage ourselves, we may never get to the point where we can merit the praises of others.

Rejection and its pain teaches you how to reject. But we can discover the joy in that pain, build it up, and turn it to something positive. Self-rejection is a trap, a big trap. It's easier to ignore the voices of others who try to bring us down. But our own may be louder in our ears. Stopping us from making any move at all.

A 'boo' is louder than a 'cheer', especially if we choose to dwell on it. Dwelling on the 'boo's will only deepen the cut of the 'boo'. But, rather than mourn something that cut, it is best to heal the wounds and move on with life.

You really don't need other people's approval to be and do what you want. You may need them to buy from you so that you can make sales. But if you need them to say 'yes' to your choices or plans, then you have to go back to the drawing board and re-evaluate your plans. Because, all you really need is a yes from you.

Give yourself a 'yes' daily even if no one else does. Propel yourself to achieve your goals. Any praise and encouragement has to begin with you. So that when others see what you see in yourself and praise you, their praises will be a plus, not the start.
Have a great week!


- The Lady

“For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.”

Psalms 84:10

THE LADY'S DIARIES: FOR THE SATISFACTION

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"I'm not going to change the world myself, but hopefully those that I am inspiring, motivating, and educating, will educate those around them. That's how we'll make a difference." - Massy Arias

It's been quite a while I wrote in the 'diary'. There's no simple way to explain why. But, if you have, or can, ready the posts that I labelled 'DIARIES', you would see that they are all my personal, and mostly private, feelings about things that have happened to or around me that week.

This week's diary is not different. Someone had come on my blog and read some of my posts. And typical me, I expected some sort of criticism. I love to know what people think or feel about things, my blog is no exception. I can be headstrong at times, but I love to listen to those who have  a constructive view on things. I find myself seeing things through a perspective that may have been different from mine.

Anyway, this person said, "Why do you write about 'these' things? You are a girl. Why don't you write about fashion, makeup, and all those girly things?" Putting it nicely, I was disappointed to have heard something like that from a fellow young person who is growing up and ought to be curious about life.

Yes, it was what this person felt. But my disappointment came from the fact that this person expected me to do what others were doing just because I am girl. Without considering if I will be good at it, if I had a passion for those things, or if that was the direction I wanted to go.

In this post, I had asked some questions that were meant to help people focus on being persons who knew themselves well and loved themselves for whom they were. I believe that in knowing and loving yourself, you would be able to live in true happiness, and in loving what you do, you would achieve great results.

I love to see growth and progress. There's enough hate in the world already. If my generation of young people can see and love themselves for whom they are, we will be halfway to where we ought to be. I love talking about things that would bring out the best in people. So, why don't I write about it?

Writing about anything that inspires and motivates people is one way I can contribute, from where I am and using what I have, to making a difference in the world. Even if it is just one person. I would be beyond satisfied. Because that person may inspire another, who may inspire another, and it could go on.

So, if you are reading this, don't let it stop at you. Talk to people, motivate them, share this post if you will. But whatever you do, try to make a positive difference in the lives of those around you. It may be in a small way, but, that feeling of satisfaction will definitely be worth it.
Have a great week.
I love you...


- The Lady

“That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.”

John 1:9

UNBOTHERED

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"Focus on what lies ahead, and then believe in God's power to take you there." - Bishop T.D. Jakes

Took a couple of minutes after I got off bed this morning to do nothing. I just stood outside my room, looking out and appreciating what I saw. And it was all beautiful. Not in the clichèd way, just truly beautiful. The rainy season has begun, the flowers are blooming, and all the brown grasses are now green.

What's not to love about life? The grasses that were drying up and almost dead, if not dead already, now have life. Just after a few days of rainfall. The birds were chirping, and playing away. Everything was just beautiful and calm.

I thought, "That's the way I should be too, beautiful and calm." Not worried about what lies ahead of me nor stressing over things that I have no control over. I can only do the best that I can each day. And, even at my best, I can only do so much.

Life has a way of making us stress over the little things. Especially those things that we have no control over. The unnecessary pressure that results from this stress leads us to unwarranted depression, fear of the unknown, etc.

The things that we fear are weapons held against us. It's time to run to God and give him everything that the enemy is using to hurt you. Your life is a reflection of what you believe in the most. This is just a reminder to believe in yourself and your abilities.

Do your best and leave the rest. It will all work out, one way or another. You have power beyond your understanding. Believe in that power, believe in yourself.
Have a restful weekend.


- The Lady

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

HELLO APRIL!

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"Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change." - Tony Robbins

Happy new month lovelies!
Hmm...First of April. Is it just me or is this year on a fast course? It feels like we only just welcomed the new year a couple of days ago and we are already in the fourth month of 2016. At this rate, I think it's safe for me to start expecting Christmas soon. Or nah?

Anyway, as the months change and we usher in the new month, let's not forget the things that are important. Ourselves for one, our loved ones, our jobs and businesses, and lastly, our purpose and beliefs. We must continue to be strong, and continue fanning our passion for better.

Personally, it is my birth month, so I know that I would definitely be doing a lot of soul-searching.(Yes, I know that I'm boring!) It is of importance to me that I make myself proud of the person I am growing up to be. No waste of time in search of perfection, just working to be the best version of me that I can be.

I hope(and pray) that you too are able to get to that point where you are confident that you are the best version of yourself, and at peace with the person you are(if you aren't already). No need to rush the process, you will get there soon enough.

Just be true to yourself, find fun in the process, truly live each moment, enjoy life, and always believe in you.
Have a great week and a fulfilling new month.
Kisses...


- The Lady

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Isaiah 40:31