DANCE IN THE RAIN (1)

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The first thing he noticed was the silence. It was too quiet. Something was amiss but he could not say what it was. He put the car in reverse and parked properly in the exact spot he has always parked for the past five years since they had bought this house for them. He and his soulmate, Adaora. Even after twelve years of marriage, he couldn't believe that she had agreed to marry him. With all his flaws. He said a quick prayer and got out of the car, locked it, and walked to the house. But that feeling persisted. That feeling of something being wrong.

"Musa!", he called the gateman. "Yes Oga!", came Musa's reply as he ran towards his boss. "Why is the house quiet? Where did everyone go to?", he inquired. "Oga I no know o. Na madam sister I see when e carry the pikin them comot for madam motor for afternoon sir." Musa replied. That explains it. He looked at his wristwatch, a Presidential Rolex his wife had given him for his 39th birthday. It said the time was 3:14pm. The kids would have been making noises if they were at home. He smiled as he went into the house. Those rug rats! They were his miracles. 

"Sunshine...", he called. That's what he calls her. She came into his life and there was a difference. Good difference. Getting no reply, he went up to their room. "Sunshine, how ar...", he stopped mid-sentence. Lying on the floor, eyes squeezed shut, tear-stained face, rolled up on the floor in nothing but her bathrobe, was his Sunshine. "Jesus! Jesus!!..", he was screaming. No! This can't be happening. He picked her up and, carrying her down the stairs, he screamed for Musa to open the gate. This can't be happening! Not yet. The doctors said that there was time and hope. With Musa's help, they put her in the backseat of the Benz while he went round to the driver's seat. He peeled off the compound like wolves from Hell were after him. He placed a call to the doctors simultaneously as he manoeuvred his way through traffic. 

He made it to the hospital in record time. Two nurses were waiting with a gurney. He had barely parked the car before he got out. They had the back door of the car open and were already bringing his wife out. He joined them as they ran into the hospital as fast as they could. Straight to the Examination Room where the doctors were waiting. One of the nurses stopped him at the door to the Examination Room. He has been through this so many times through the past ten years when the first results had come out after diagnosis. And through that time, Adaora had slowly shrunk before him.

He was tired. Taking care of the twins had fallen on him and he has done his best to protect and provide for them all. Recently, the visits have become more frequent and he was scared. They had tried every treatment possible, yet no cure. He was really tired, but he could not stop fighting to save her; his wife, his friend, the mother of his kids, his soulmate. About ten minutes later, Dr. Ighodaro, who always has a smile on her face, came out of the examination room without any smiles. This is bad, he thought. "How bad is it?", he asked. "Please come with me to my office Mr. Jeff", she replied. 

- The Lady 

    “Then a spirit passed before my face; the hair of my flesh stood up:”

Job 4:15

LIFE NUGGET: THE ROAD UNDER CONSTRUCTION

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"Until you are ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great." - Cher

I have always loved writing. As a child, I wrote on anything and everything; books, the walls everywhere, even daddy's newspapers. And when a board was brought home for our home tutors to use for us, I was the first to scribble on it! At a point, I was given a separate book to use in writing my 'nonsense' (as it was called then) so that I won't mess up my school books. For as long as I can remember, I have owned various notepads, diaries, and day- planners. Sometimes 4-5 at a time. And I used them all for everything, thoughts, stories, poems, plans, letters, notes, just name it. So when I learnt about blogging, it was definite that I would own one.
The hitch? A lot of the conventional bloggers had a particular path they each followed and stuck to. But me? I just want to write about whatever came into my head , just like I do on my notepads and planners. Some people I spoke said it was 'rather stupid' and that I should 'do it the normal way, stick to a path, and not embarrass myself'. I personally wanted to make it perfect. But I figured, what's the harm in doing it my way and get perfect along the line? It is something I learnt from my mum. As she would say when I go to her for advice, 'Just do what you want. If you do it well, continue. And if you don't, correct your mistakes and continue.'

Most paths were found when people decided to do things differently, while some were found when people were not even searching. Some of the best things in life are mistakes. You learn from them, grow from them, and succeed from them. Waiting for perfect is not always the best. Sometimes you just have to keep moving forward, making progress, one step at a time. Trust your journey. You don't know where the road might take you. Actually, the road might still be under construction as you don't have all the skills or resources, but staying at a spot is worse. Do something about the situation. Learn the relevant skills, or, source for the resources, but don't stop or turn back because the road has not been completed. The future belongs to the risk takers, not the comfort seekers.
Some people would try to discourage you, or figure that there's to much at stake and can not bank on you or be part of your plans. Most people don't want to be part of the process, they just want to be part of the outcome. But the process is where you figure out who's worth being part of the outcome. Many will try to convince you that their way is the only way. Don't be scared to find YOUR own way. Believe in your dreams, trust in your journey even if they don't.
It really depends on you. Listen to experienced people, learn from your mistakes and others', but most importantly, listen to your heart. Some criticisms maybe constructive, pick the things you need from them and construct your road. Your journey maybe a success story afterall. But it all depends on you and how you want your story to end. So keep working on it. Let the fear of the unknown push you to succeed.


- The Lady



    “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.”
Matthew 5:14

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MOTIVATION MONDAY: WHY WORRY?

For as long as I can remember, my mum has always been a strong influence in my spiritual life. She made sure we, my siblings and I, had Christian books to read and never missed church services, including vigils, weekday services and children's programs. During one of such children's programs, we were taught a song. The first line of the song sings, 'Why worry? When you can pray?'. I loved the song, but as I grew up, it became one of those songs that you hardly remember, but when you do, you sing them until the song and everyone around you gets tired of you singing it. 

Because of the pressures of the world, many of us have become worriers, worrying about everything from finances to life in general. I believe that there is a difference between thinking and worrying. To think means to evaluate, consider, anticipate, or analyse an idea. To worry means to torment oneself or suffer from disturbing thoughts. Thinking could lead to ideas and results, but worrying often leads to more worrying, negative energy and increase in blood pressure. There is a thin line between the two and without proper care, one can go from thinking to worrying. 

The way the world works, what you sow, you reap, what you give, you receive. What you focus on is usually what you get more of, whether that thing is positive or negative. That's why those who invest their time into creative and productive thinking create ideas and produce results, while those who spend their time worrying about things, especially negative things, continue to see those things manifest in their lives and only end up creating more issues for themselves and others. 

So as we begin this week, worry less, don't give attention to the things you don't want in your life. Rather, concentrate on positive and productive ideas and growth and watch it manifest in your life. Have a productive week!!

 - The Lady 

   “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?”

‭Matthew‬ ‭6:27‬

THE LADY'S DIARIES: CATCHING UP WITH TRADITION(IGBA EKPE)

Hello!!!

I'm sorry for not putting up posts for the past few days. I have been unavoidably unable to use the internet as I have been at my village and the cell reception there is too weak to do anything with except make calls and send messages.(NCC what's up now?) But I'm back now. 

And I'm glad I took this week to relax in the village! It has been almost eleven years since the last time I made it to the village and that was with my family and under sad circumstances. But this time, I went on my own and under better circumstances.

I arrived at the best time possible as lots of people had left the village for their homes, both in and out of Nigeria, and most of the celebrations were yet to begin. After visiting and catching up with everyone I knew, I went on to do almost all the things that villagers do. I ate every kind of food available, went to the stream, went visiting with relatives... Best of all? I spent some time with my grandma who, in her old age, insisted on cooking for me, and even packed somethings up for me to travel with. She took such good care of me, I felt bad I had not been visiting her as much as I should have. That has got to change!

Anyway, one of the major events that took place during the time I was at the village was an event my people call 'Igba Ekpe'. The Ohafia people and people of some other parts of the Igbo-speaking states of Nigeria call it 'Igboto mma'. It is the same event, just called different names in different places. Control or government of the ancient Igboland was mainly by age-grades and family-heads. At a certain age, members of the oldest age-grade are considered too old to be in such age-grade and eligible to be considered as elders. Hence, the Igba Ekpe/Igboto Mma ceremony, which is a sort of passing-out or graduation ceremony for those members of the oldest age-grade and those who consider themselves old enough to not be identified with any age-grade to be considered as elders. The ceremony which takes a number of months, if not years, to prepare for runs through a number of days, usually a minimum of 2 days. The ceremony is marked with lots of food, music, dance, and extravagant show of clothes, shoes, and jewelries.

Traditionally, a masquerade, the Ekpe, which is usually a member of the age-grade dressed up as a masquerade, dances around the village square. Afterwards, he is given a machete which he ought to use, with just one strike, to cut the head of a goat that has been brought for that reason off. If the person who has been dressed up as a masquerade does this successfully, the 'new elders' can proudly call themselves elders, celebrate, and dance around the village. But if he fails to cut the head off the goat, he has to go in shame and refund every money that everyone had spent in preparation for the ceremony. In recent times, as a result of the growth of Christianity in Nigeria, some people, rather than participate in the traditional festivities, choose to go to church for thanksgiving, in celebration of their lives and growth.

Whichever way one chooses to go about it, whether traditional or Christianity, the bottom line and reason for the ceremony is the celebration of the life of a person while the person is alive, before the celebration of the life of that person by his loved ones at his funeral. So, regardless of the culture and/or religion of a person, the attitude of being thankful for life and celebrating life is not to be overlooked. Life is worth relishing, celebrating, and being thankful for. 

P.s: Whenever you can, try visiting any of the villages in the Igbo-speaking states of Nigeria, especially Abia State, to experience this ceremony for yourself. Best to go with friends and/or family from that part. You will be thrilled!!

- The Lady 

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:2‬

LIFE NUGGET: FEAR

"If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity can easily be corrected through more audacity. Everyone admires the bold, no one honours the timid." - Robert Greene

Everyone, at some point in their lives, has been timid. Some, so much to the point of paralysis or some form of inaction. It is sometimes not so much about the physical as it is about the spiritual, psychological, and/or mental. It is mostly about the state of a person's mind. 

There are different types of fear. Some are advanced to the point of phobia, while some are of lesser strength. Some come about by reason of experience, whether personal or of those around a person, while some are the work of a person's imagination. But, by whatever source, fear has a strong power over those who let it live in them.

The greatest of these fears is the fear of failure. Many plans have been abandoned and decisions gone to dust because of the fear in the hearts of many that the plans would not work, or that they are just not good enough to execute the plan. Some have gone to the extent of beginning work on those plans, but along the way, they gave in to the fear and all the work and time spent on it became a waste. But some strong people have worked through their fears and achieved great success. So why let a feeling as deceitful as fear stop you from achieving what you wish for? In the words of the Catalyst, "Fear is faith in the negative. Fear is belief in something. Fear needs your faith to work. So why waste your faith or belief? Instead believe or have faith in the positive." 

Some might argue that some fears are necessary, I won't object to that. Some form of negativity has been used in the past to achieve positive results and create a balance in the society. But where do you cross the line of letting fear use you instead of you using that fear? It is very easy for fear to overpower a person. So the best thing is to have control of your life and thoughts, knowing that you own your life and no feeling can simply come in and take over. 

When you feel that overpowering fear creeping up, quell it by telling yourself that you are stronger than it and can do whatever you put your heart to. And like the Nike slogan, "Just do it!". 

Work through the fear, and whether or not you succeed, you know in you that you have done what you set out to do. And probably learnt some lessons along the way. 

Good luck!!

- The Lady 

      “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

                                                     2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬

MOTIVATION MONDAY: BE PASSIONATE

"Working hard for something we don't care about is stress; working hard for something we care about is passion." - Simon Sinek

Today marks the first day of resumption of normal work activities in 2016, and it will be a bad attitude to begin with a lacklustre attitude to our activities, especially our professional activities. Laziness and inefficiency are deadly vices in the professional environment and they can lead to eventual lose of that job. But one major contributor to these attitudes is lack of passion. 

Whether at work, school, or in our personal life, if you have no passion for what you are doing, you will have no motivation to do it as you find no joy in doing that thing. If you do something out of duty, it will deplete you, but if you do something out of love, it will energise you. 

Passion is infectious. One way to be passionate about what you have or plan to do, or to stay passionate, is to find othe people that are passionate about that same thing and always have them around you. It is much easier to be passionate about something and be successful in it if you find others who share the same goal to talk to and get support from. You can motivate each other when times are tough and help each other move forward. Their passion will push you for the better when you are low on passion and motivation.

Be passionate about your plans, goals, work, personal life, and the future as a whole, and no one can bring you down or stop you. Have a successful week.

- The Lady 

       “Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.”

                                                                   Mark‬ ‭14:38‬ 

THE LADY'S DIARIES: BEING ME...UNAPOLOGETICALLY!

"Life is an awesome gift - treasure, enjoy, and make the most of it by taking time for the things that really count." - Maria Fontaine.

The celebrations and excitement about the new year waned as soon as the first of January passed. And by yesterday night, I began hearing complaints about the end of the holidays and the resumption of normal school and work activities. Some don't want the holidays to end, while some just don't want to face reality...yet. Personally, I don't want the holidays to end but I'm so ready to face my reality and work on making my dreams part of that reality.

If there is anything I have learnt in life, it is that life goes on. Some people use various ways and excuses to avoid doing the things they ought to do, or to live life the way they want and ought to be living it. Some think that being alive is all that matters, consoling themselves by making themselves believe that as long as they have life, they can do whatever they want to do at anytime. But, is that life? Being alive but not really living life.

I don't believe that it ought to be that way. I believe that nothing and nobody is a waste. That there is a reason, or reasons, why each of us are on Earth and alive. We each have something to contribute in our unique ways. But we have to look within us to find that 'thing'. Some people call that thing 'Purpose'. I prefer to call it 'Being You'. But to personalise it, I call it 'Being Me'.

Considering the world we live in and the way it always tries to make us be persons different from who we really are, it is a super power to be yourself today. The influence of other people on almost every aspect of our lives is almost strangling the individuality in everyone and everything. It is amazing when we come across people who, notwithstanding the pressure, are determined to be themselves. They are the superheroes, living their lives, making their dreams become their reality, and not complaining about the holidays ending or anything. 

I want to be a superhero too. Identify my individuality, live my life, make my dreams a reality, and not complain about going to work or nothing of that sort. I choose to be me...without apologies to anyone. I have a feeling that I'll find greater peace this way.

- The Lady 

    “And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.”

                                                        John‬ ‭1:16‬ 

ARE YOU READY FOR SUCCESS IN 2016?

"To consistently succeed in 2016, you need a combination of a strong, agile, and powerful spirit; a sound, positive, and focused mind, a fit, well and healthy body. - Lanre Olusola, The Catalyst.

So the holidays are officially over...for now at least. And the reality of our lives, and the impact of the new year is going to come crashing down on us. Hopefully, this  year will be nice to us. But is hoping for the best enough? What with the uncertainty of the stability and strength of the Naira against other currencies especially the Dollar, the insecurity and insurgency issues and all. A lot of people predict a 'slow' 2016. "A bad time for anyone to invest or start a business." some experts say. But must we listen to them? Must we base our plans on the speculations of others as against our plans for success in 2016?
One of the lessons I learnt last year was that self-doubt is more potent than others doubting you. When doubt is from an external source, it could be hard to deal with. But doubt from external sources is easier to deal with than self-doubt. Doubt kills more dreams than failure. So whether it is self-doubt or doubt from external sources, we must tune ourselves to start responding to doubt with positivity. No mopping, feeling sad for yourself, or mourning the death of a dream that is yet to be realised. This is not the time to give up. Focus on the picture of success, while noting that anything could happen and preparing yourself for that possibility. Just don't give up on yourself. Start betting on yourself and motivating yourself when you're in doubt or feeling low.
Another thing that would help get you ready for success in 2016 is extensive planning and preparation for what lies ahead. Bringing your dreams to reality is one herculean task that can be made easier with efficient planning. So write you plans down as clearly as possible so that others can look at it and know exactly what you have in mind, and you know things you can handle alone, things you need help with, and things that are important or irrelevant.
Thirdly, you need to take care of your health. Your personal health and fitness plays a large role as only a healthy person can do all it takes to turn a dream to reality. And on the note, I would like to add that investing in ourselves is also very important. Investing in our education, health, relationships, emotional and financial well-being. You are your biggest asset and best investment. Your success in anything is dependent on you. Coaching sessions and seminars can go a long way in preparing us for what lies ahead. And if you have a mentor? Better!
It's going to be a journey! But it will be worth it if you don't give upon yourself and/or your dreams.
Have a successful new year!


- The Lady



     “...Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
                                         Psalms‬ ‭30:5‬

HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARY NEW YEAR!!!

Yes!
We made it!
2015 has come and gone, and 2016 has met us alive! I am so thankful! We went through the hassle of last year and have made it to this year! What's not to be thankful for? But let's not forget our reality in all the celebrations.
This is a new year, bringing with it blessings, favours, opportunities, and every good and positive thing we desire. It also brings with it some 'bumps' and challenges that we have to face squarely like the winners we are. There's nothing to be scared of as we have faced similar things in the past years, if not personally, then through the experiences of others. So fret not. Our works, faith, and determination will see us through.
But always remember to be positive in your thoughts and your actions. Be even more positive and vocal in your prayers. Speak that change, truth, miracle, or revelation you want to see and watch it all unfold before your eyes. But have in mind, it can only work if you back your faith up with action. So be ready to work. Put your best into all you do and your work will speak for you even in your absence.
For those who have plans for the year, start with what you have, wherever you are, and be faithful and consistent. The rewards are not so far ahead. So be ready for 2016. Begin and continue with a positive attitude, go on adventures, be creative, network, connect with people especially those with good energy. Learn new things, new language(s), grow. Please be strong, for trials will definitely come. Always know that it is not the trials or situation that is important, but your attitude towards it is what matters. You can handle whatever 2016 throws at you. If you have not begun already, 2016 is an opportunity to build your legacy. Own it!
May you have the best that 2016 has to offer!
Wishing you peace, love, and happiness in this New Year! Happy New Year!! Bonne Année!!!


- The Lady



       “Say unto them, As truly as I live, saith the Lord, as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you:”
‭‭Numbers‬ ‭14:28‬

DECEMBER ROUNDUP(NEW YEAR 2016 EDITION): THANKFUL FOR THE LITTLE THINGS

It's the last day of 2015. And though this post is the last post of the year, it is written with all the love and happiness in my heart. I also made it short so that we can go back to our preparations and celebrations.
Now, I guess we have been with friends and family. We have had enough, and for some, more than enough to eat, drink, and dance to as a result of the Christmas celebrations and holidays. Personally, I spent the Christmas being the woman I had always wanted to be; re-connecting with loved ones, cooking, working on myself, and being happy. There were lots of food, drinks, laughter, music, and dancing. It was a time to meet new additions to the family, and reconnect with those I haven't seen in a long while. Most importantly, it was a time spent sharing jokes and laughter, stories of joy and pain, gifts and all, with family, friends and neighbours.
I'm thankful for those I was blessed to have around me. They have been a major source of blessings to me. I don't know how to show my appreciation to them for everything they have done for me and been to me. I am also thankful for the lives of those I have blessed or who felt that I blessed them. And for you all, I am thankful for the lives you have, for the things that have happened and are happening in your lives.
This last day of the year symbolises not just the end of 2015, but the beginning of 2016. The beginning of something better. Better hopes, dreams, aspirations, achievements, relationships, and networks. It also brings with it better opportunities for greatness, and a clean slate for us to right the wrongs we made in 2015.
For all these, I am thankful. For the life in me, for the family, friends, and loved ones around me, for the opportunities that I took advantage of this year, for the achievements and progress I made this year. For the best that we gave and the best we received. For the victory against Ebola and Polio. I am especially thankful for the lives of those who fought, even those who died fighting for the safety and security of this country, for Nigeria and the efforts everyone had put in to make this country better.
Truly, 2015 was not an easy year for Nigeria, but we stand, victorious, not withstanding the battles we have fought. It is worth being thankful for  not just the big things, but also the little things. The smiles on the faces of those in the Internally Displaced Persons' (IDP) camps when donations of food, clothes, and drugs were made to them. For the victory of our under 17 soccer team. For the strength of the Naira even in the face of economic instability. Truly, it is the little things that made it worth it.
We have seen our strengths and learnt of our weaknesses. 2016 is here for us to do better, and have the attitude of being grateful for things, especially the little things.


- The Lady



      “We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers;”
                                                     1 Thessalonians‬ ‭1:2‬

LIFESTYLE: MY REGRETS

"Regrets only apply when we don't learn from a situation. No sense looking back, look forward with new knowledge and no regrets." - Catherine Pulsifer.

 Like every other human, I have made my share of mistakes. Some big, and some minute. I had hoped to avoid some, but the world works with its own plans. I have only this life and had hoped that I would live it as best as I can, learning from other people's lives and mistakes. I did learn from others' mistakes, and I made a few of my own. This post is for the future me to look back to and learn, and for you to learn too. So here goes my regrets:

1. Interest in the opinions of others. I used chalk this down to 'I'm human!' but that was just a silly excuse. I didn't know then what I know now. I have learnt that some people are not interested in somethings I do, some don't even notice the effort. I also learnt that people will always have an opinion about the things I do and the way I  live my life. That sometimes does not translate to them being interested in my wellbeing, they might just be jealous, or plain opinionated people. Lesson learnt? Do me! There will always be opinions about my life anyway! 

2. Not starting sooner. A lot of things I wanted to do and be by now. A lot of plans written. But, for one reason or another, I procrastinated until it was almost past the time. One of the reasons for this was, as said earlier, I was interested in the opinions of others. I kept thinking, 'What will they think of me?', 'Will they like it?', etc. But as also said earlier, I'm doing me now. Better late than never. Doing them all. Because even if I don't do it well(which I won't!), I will have peace in my heart that I did start.

3. Not letting go. My mum says that this is my nature. I hardly let go of things, property, feelings, people, just name it. I believe that everything is, or came, in my life for a reason, and I find it hard to let go when it's time. This has caused some problems at different times and I have learnt not to hold on to anything longer than I ought to.

4. Not keeping in touch with people. I always do this. Sometimes I go to the extent of promising to call and failing to do that. It's never intentional. I just go weeks, or months without so much as an sms. I have missed a lot of things because of that. But in recent years, social media has helped me keep in touch with people, even in little ways. Definitely doing better now. 

5. Caring too much about money. Okay! I know that 'money is not the answer to everything', but my excuse is that I have younger ones and I therefore have a responsibility to be there for them. And for this, I am not sorry. Will reduce it, but I don't have the luxury to not care about money at all.

6. Not saving/investing more. I opened my first personal savings account at 16 years. You would think that I have a nest now. Ahh...not true. I sure wish I had been wiser about cash and saved and/or invested in those years. But I have the time now, and I'm wiser. Definitely working on this. 

Will be leaving it at this as these are the ones I am sure I regret for now. I hope 2016 is better for us all. May we learn from our mistakes as that is the essence of regrets.

- The Lady 

     “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all

                                                         things are become new.”

                                                             2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:17‬

LIFE NUGGET: STOP RUNNING

"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know...if we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we find the very same problem waiting for us when we arrive. It just keeps returning with new names, forms, manifestations, until we learn whatever it has to teach us about where we are separating ourselves from reality, how we are pulling back instead of opening up, closing down instead of allowing ourselves to experience fully whatever we encounter, without hesitating or retreating into ourselves." - Pema Chödrön.

It is 2 days before we walk into 2016, and asides the excitement of having lived this long, there is this feeling I used to have in previous years that I don't have now. I noticed its absence, not because I miss its presence, but because I had somehow expected that I would feel that way, as always. I don't know how best to explain that feeling, but at the end of the year, I used to feel like I failed myself. Sometimes, as a result of something I would have loved to do but didn't do, or as result of something I did when I had decided against doing it. But for whatever reason, that feeling didn't come this year and I am more than happy with myself.
It takes a lot to realise that we have a problem, and even more to find a solution to the problem and/or do the needful to end the problem. It is human nature to run when faced with some difficult situations. Some call reflex action. I have met, and heard of, some people who had problems, but instead of solving the problems, they run to alcohol, some hard drugs, etc. But that doesn't deal with the problem. They always come back to the reality of the existence of the problem.
A lady once realised that she was always getting into abusive relationships. Rather than dealing with the issue, took to drinking alcohol. Whenever the effect of the alcohol wore off, she went back to crying and even more alcohol. Thankfully, she was one of the lucky few who survived abusive relationships. That was because she decided to stop running to alcohol and stay, find the source of the problem, and deal with the problem.
Pain doesn't just show up in our lives for no reason. It is a sign that something in our lives need to change. Running from the pain and the problem doesn't fix the problem, but paying attention to the problem, understanding it and yourself, is a step to changing. That change is not just good for dealing with the problem, but for dealing with life  and for yourself. In 2016, let there be a difference. But that difference will only come if you decide NOW that you want to see a difference, that you want to see a change. You were born to make a difference.
Stop running...start living!


- The Lady



   “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as
                 eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”
                                                          Isaiah‬ ‭40:31‬

MOTIVATION MONDAY: FAITHING IT & WORKING IT

"Success is never an accident, it is always on purpose." - T.D Jakes. (Pastor)

As we countdown to the end of 2015,*the new year begins in 3 days! Yay!!* we ought to celebrate our lives and that of those around us. Let us appreciate the fact that we made it through the hurdles we had to face in 2015. The setbacks and near-failures. But in the same vein, we must be thankful for the successes, and growth we achieved this year.
It definitely wasn't easy, but we have made it this far, learnt our lessons, and discovered more about ourselves. And the sweet part? 2016 is coming, for us to put all that we've learnt to work, be better persons, set our goals and crush them. For us to grow some more, discover ourselves some more, do bigger and better things, be better versions of ourselves, and live the life we hope for. Pray for.
But doing all these is not easy. We need the strength to get through all we will face. Patience to endure all the temptations, hurdles, and setbacks the year may bring our way. And faith to not give up on ourselves and/or our dreams. Your personal faith in yourself will get you through more than you know. Build your faith, in yourself and your belief, while building yourself up for whatever it will take to achieve your dreams, your goals.
We all face temptations and times when our faith is low. Personally, when I'm low on faith in myself and/or my plans, I turn to my Bible. One of my favourite passages is Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”. How do you not go on when God has got your back?!
I believe strongly in my faith in God and in myself. And neither have failed me. I make my plans, make my moves, and if it is not part of God's plan for me, I go back to my Bible, pray about it, and find a new way to move with my plans for my future.
But it all begins with the decision and determination to succeed. With that and your faith in yourself, and God, you can go on into the new year, knowing that you can achieve all you set your mind on. Faith and work, together, can move mountains.

- The Lady



   “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I
                  will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
                                                                  Isaiah‬ ‭41:10‬

AFTER THE PLAN COMES...

"Everything we pray for, we must prepare for". - De Von Franklin. (Pastor)

As the last day of the week, or the first day of the week for some, it is necessary for us to prepare our minds for the rest of the week ahead of us. As celebratory as these last days of 2015 should be for us, 2016 comes with a lot of opportunities and it wouldn't hurt for us to take some much needed steps to prepare for what lies ahead of us.
'New year, new opportunities'. The new year brings goodies, both good and bad, with it for us to handle. Re-adjusting to the new state of things, 'trying' to stick to our new, or not-so-new, resolution(s) for the new year, and for those in Nigeria, hoping and praying for better economy and security of the country could be a lot to handle. Some of us have sketchy plans for the future, while some have fully sorted out our plans for the year from short-term to long-term.
It is not enough to have plans, we need to be ready to see the plans through to the end to achieve the expected results. For that to happen, we need to work on ourselves. Invest in ourselves by registering for some personal coaching sessions with life coaches, consulting  our mentors for guidance, or speaking  to professionals in the fields we are interested in. Investing in yourself is the best move you can make.
Some of us don't think we need help from others, and some find it hard to ask for help and/or advice, but don't get the wake up call late. Time is too precious to waste going it alone when it can be done better, with the help of someone or some people. Though I understand that sometimes, we are all the help we need, we ought to be critical to ensure that it is not our pride talking. So prepare yourself for the future you desire, hope, and pray for.
I hope, and pray, for you to have all it takes to achieve it all this new year. Go do better!!!


- The Lady



     “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is
                                                                  weak.”‭‭
                                                           Matthew‬ ‭26:41

WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE BETTER IN 2015?

"To me, mentoring is crucial in this day and age. We read reviews on restaurants and products before we buy, so why wouldn't you want to hear advice, reviews, and guidance from someone who embarked on your journey?" - Chris Classic.(Song writer)

This right here is my only regret in 2015. Not taking up enough mentoring/coaching sessions and opportunities as I needed. For personal reasons, chief of which were fear and the 'I'm not ready yet' attitude I had towards somethings. I thank God that I was able to begin working on them and participated in some sessions and seminars before the the year's end. Now, I know what was holding me back and what areas of my life to work on.
Now this may sound too serious for some. I admit, it did sound too serious to me at some point, but as I grew, and as I learnt more about life, I realized that moving in the path I wanted for my future required a lot of effort from me. It is no small feat. A lot had to be taken into consideration, a lot of plans and sacrifices had to made. In that process, I learnt that I couldn't do it all alone. It wasn't easy admitting that I needed help, but I did, and I sort for help in the best places I could, the Bible and professionals in the field I was interested in. This has helped keep me focused and put my plans in perspective.
It is almost free to be good, but it costs a little more to be better. It will cost you your time, money, and probably everything you have got, but you have to be ready to do the needful for the sake of your future. Nobody wants to be associated with a failure. So do it for yourself, your family, and your kids. You might not get it right the first time, but with determination comes success. Look at Richard Branson, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerberg, and the list goes on, none of them got to the places they are at without a fight. Their stories speak of disappointments, some failure, even discouragement. But one similarity in all their stories was their determination to not give up.
Whatever plans you have for your life, be determined to fight for it because the world works in its own interest and not yours. If you don't fight for you, nobody will. Take these few days that we have left to the new year to get yourself focused on your life and your plans for your future. Look back at the things you wish you had done in 2015 and learn the things you have to do in 2016 so that next year doesn't pass by leaving you in the same position. And if you did do the things you planned for 2015 but didn't do them well, learn and research on better ways to do them in 2016.
I hope you have a great day!


- The Lady



     “Now therefore come, let me, I pray thee, give thee counsel, that thou mayest save thine own life,
                                                   and the life of thy son Solomon.”
                                                                 1 Kings‬ ‭1:12‬

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU...

This post is coming late, please forgive me. I was the official chef for the family, hence, the lateness to write today. Super tired but I'm excited that the day went well for my family, friends and I. It was lovely to say the least.

I had prayed for a peaceful Christmas and I got just that. But I am human and I want more. I want peace in Nigeria. I want the insurgency issue to be a thing of the past. I want the Internally Displaced Persons(IDPs) to be free to go back to their towns and have the strength and courage to rebuild what was destroyed, and get over the loss of their loved ones. 

I want the economic situation in Nigeria to be better and for the Naira to 'recover'.  I want the issue of unemployment to be over and jobs available for the youths. I want the gifts of patience, wisdom and determination to be made available to the youths to enable them create jobs for themselves and others. I want the eyes of the youths to be open to the opportunities available to them at every point.

I want the children, the leaders of our tomorrow, to have a better environment to live and grow up in. I want the co-operation of all people to the issue of tackling global warming and other environmental protection issues. I want the issue of the existence of Hiv/Aids and other deadly diseases to be over. I want so many things, but most of all, all I want for Christmas is for you to be happy in life. For you to experience peace, joy, and love. For you to have all that your heart desires.

Have a merry Christmas sweethearts!

- The Lady 

         “Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied.”

                                          Jude‬ ‭1:2‬

FINANCES AND CHRISTMAS

As the 25th of December approaches, the excitement level is heightening. Christmas shoppers are making the rounds for things that have to be bought, some of us, our family and friends included, are making preparations for our trips, and our 'I-just-got-back' crowd are getting back into the country for the holiday. There will be lots of celebrations, food and drinks, and catching up to be done.
But let's not forget the reason for the season. Love. That one simple word that is quite difficult to define yet necessary in our lives. We expect it from those dear to us, and now it is time to give it back, not just to our loved ones, but to everyone. Our neighbours, business partners and colleagues, our employers and employees, teachers and students, the help(s) and security men, etc. And in this spirit, let's not forget those who have nothing to celebrate with except their lives. Those who barely have clothes to cover with, food to eat, or a roof above their heads. Let's remember the kids in orphanages, the sick in hospitals, the prisoners in prisons, those of unsound mind in rehabilitation facilities, their caregivers and wardens, even the destitutes on the streets.
It may not look like it, but the little we do for them goes a long way. And the contentment you will feel at the end will make this season more meaningful to celebrate and enjoy. You could do it alone, but if you go with friends and family to share things to these people, the celebration will be even more meaningful. So as we budget for and plan how and where to 'turn up', let us keep these people in mind, knowing that nothing is too little for them.
In the same vein, let us do something good for ourselves. Our celebration must not be with too much food and alcohol. The celebration is for a couple of weeks, after that comes reality. Let's remember to budget and save for the next year. The beginning of every new year is usually marked with some form of scarcity or the other. Considering the situation of the Naira this year, it would be wise for us to save money this couple of days before the new year as no one knows what to expect in January. Put some money aside for the recurring bills and expenditures like school fees, electricity bills, waste and water bills, etc. Make sure the mortgage for the first three months(at least), or the rent if applicable, has been set aside. And if there is any ongoing project that requires finances, do set some money aside for the if possible.
As long as finances have been managed as it should, I see no reason why we can't celebrate this Christmas season in peace and happiness. Be wary though, of fraudulent persons, thieves, and other evil people. They are always lurking at times like these. And remember not to drink and drive, not just for your safety, but the safety of other road users. Respect traffic rules. And have yourself a very merry Christmas!!
With love...


- The Lady



    “Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward
                                                   of your Father which is in heaven.”
                                                                   Matthew‬ ‭6:1‬

WHAT WOULD YOU BE REMEMBERED FOR IN 2015?

As it is the yuletide season, schools in Nigeria have closed for the holiday and kids are mostly at home. One of those kids is my neighbour's daughter. She and my sister are practically best of friends as my sister buys biscuits and other sweet things that kids love for the little girl. My sister, who had hardly been around recently, came visiting two days ago, and upon seeing my sister, the little girl ran to her to welcome her. She, the little girl, stayed with my sister until my sister and I were about going out. At that point, my sister noticed tears in her eyes and asked her what the problem was. "You don't like me again. You did not buy biscuits for me." She replied. I don't know who was more shocked by that answer, myself or my sister.

The world watches everything we do, whether or not we realize it. Almost no detail goes unnoticed. Everyone, both old and young, takes something away from whatever time spent or relationship we have had with them. Our presence on Earth affects and leaves an impact on anyone who has ever met us. That little girl had, with those sentences, opened my eyes to a detail so minute , I nearly missed it. What kind of impact did I make in the lives of those I met this year? What impression do they have of me? Did I do good? What will the people I have met remember me for this year? 

Though unimportant it may seem, I kept thinking of what that little girl had said. She ended up getting lots of biscuits and sweets from us, but her words, though we laughed about it then, was an eye opener. I have heard that the wisdom of children is expensive as it has not been soiled with the evil(politics) of the Earth. That phrase is indeed true, as I have experienced it personally. 

Anyway, I hope this affects you the way it did me. Sit back, think of your life and how you treated people and/or made them feel this year. If you did anyone wrong, please do the needful to make things right. If you did not, please endeavor to continue, and if possible, improve on what you did this year, in the next year. There's always room for improvement. Don't let the actions of others dictate your own actions.

- The Lady 

    “For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?”

                                                                 Romans‬ ‭3:3‬

REALIZING YOUR TALENTS/GIFTS

I had written this post earlier with the intention of posting it soon but, somehow, I couldn't find it. Since this platform and I are yet to get comfortable in this marriage of ours,*Hahaha* I have no explanation for what happened to the post. I promise to learn all that is possible about blogging...fast! So, straight talk...
Everyone has a gift, but those who succeed with their gifts are those who believe that their gifts can make a difference and/or change the world.
Ever heard the Bible parable of the talents? The one where a master , before he traveled, gave his three servants talents. The first he gave five talents, the second he gave two, and the third he gave one. The first traded his own and made five more. The second did same and made two more. While the third buried his own. When the master returned, they all gave account of what they had done. The first and second were blessed for their work while the talent given to the third was taken from him and given to the first.
As I grew up, both at church and at school, during Christian Religious Knowledge classes, I heard, read, and learnt about the parable. But I never really understood the lesson/message until recent years when it all began to make much sense to me. Some days ago, I saw a picture of a man standing behind a tall fence. He had ladders on his side of the fence, but, rather than use one of the ladders to get to the other side of the fence, he piled all the ladders on the floor and stood on them. In that position, he still could not see what was on the other side of the fence. That picture reminded me of the Bible parable I recounted earlier.
Despite what the world or some negative people might have made you believe, we all have talents, gifts, resources, or whatever you might choose to call it. We all have it in us. The problem is that some people have not seen it in themselves, some have seen it but either they don't recognize it, or they have not explored it, and some people don't even know what we are talking about.
Personally, I was in the second group. I knew what talent meant, I knew somethings I was capable of doing, but I never explored them for certain reasons. At some point, during one of the periods where I reflected on what I had done with my life, I decided to do something with/about the things I saw that I was talented at. This blog is a product of that decision. Writing is a skill I have always had, and as my own greatest critic, I never thought that the things I wrote were good enough. And as I wrote in a previous post(Beginning), this platform is to help me be better at writing.
A talent or gift is a natural ability or skill, something you are good at just by being you. You might need a little practice for you to be great at it, but it is something you do effortlessly, with little or no errors. Your talent(s) compliments you. It is the 'tip' of your 'iceberg', the 'icing on the cake' of any individual.
Some people already know what their talents are while some don't. Like the man in that picture, a person who either has no knowledge of his talent or who knows his talent but has no knowledge of how to use it will, when faced with a situation, not know how to handle it. Or worse, not recognize opportunities that come his way. It is one thing to have a talent, and, like the third servant in the Bible parable, it is another thing to use it.
For some who are yet to realize what they possess as talent(s),including those who are yet to know all the different talents they possess, this exercise will be helpful. This was basically what I did. All you need is a pen and a notebook or jotter. Think of the things you are good at and can do effortlessly or with little help. Write them all down no matter how silly it looks or sounds to you or anyone. Consider each of them and put them on a priority list beginning with the ones you love doing and are great at, to the least lovable ones. Once this is done, pick those you can do effortlessly, prioritize them. Then ask yourself questions like, 'Do I see myself doing this all my life if I had all the time in the world? Do I need help getting better at this? What kind of help? Who do I contact and how do I contact the person? Can I dedicate the time to get better at this?'. Do this for each talent.
For those who know what their talents are and have either not explored them, or have 'abandoned' them, with your pen and paper in hand, ask yourself questions. Like, 'What are the talents I need to focus on? What talent(s) compliments me best? What talent(s) do I need help with? What kind of help do I need? Who do I contact and how do I contact the person? Why have I not explored it/why did I abandon it in the past?'.
This exercise will help put things in perspective for you. As we get closer to the new year, we need, not only to celebrate the life we have, but to prepare to live the life we have and hope to live to the fullest using the talents, gifts, and/or resources we have inside us. Have a great time finding 'you' and your talent(s). Good luck.


- The Lady



    “For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath
                                      not shall be taken away even that which he hath.”
                                                           Matthew‬ ‭25:29‬

MISTAKES AND FORGIVENESS

'To err is human, to forgive is divine '
We have all heard that at one time in our lives... I guess. I think I heard it from my dad first*no surprises there*, then my English teacher in High School while teaching 'Idioms and Idiomatic expressions'. Hmmm...those were the good ol' days!
Anyway, I was seeing the Miss Universe 2015 pageant hosted by the one and only Steve Harvey yesterday. It was a lovely event/show, and Seal's performance was mind-blowing as expected. But towards the end of the show, Steve Harvey and his team made a terrible mistake. The winner of the pageant was Miss Philippines but Miss Colombia was crowned as the winner. But as soon as they, Steve Harvey and his team, realized their mistake, they immediately corrected it, took the crown from Miss Colombia and crowned Miss Philippines as the winner. Mr. Steve Harvey and his team have since apologized to Miss Colombia, the people of Colombia, and the world in general, admitting their mistake and the fact that they have corrected it.
I don't want to imagine how Miss Colombia felt or is feeling, how Steve Harvey and his team felt or are feeling, or how this will affect their organization publicity-wise(Yes, I know that no publicity is bad publicity and all). I know that it was, and still is terrible. But I am only interested in the mistake and the things that followed, and should follow, it. The world operates in cause and effect. When something happens, the first questions are usually along the lines of 'What caused this? What should follow after?'. Now, what has been done has been done. A mistake was made, steps have been taken to correct them. Rationally, what should follow is forgiveness and us all getting over it. But no, it's not that easy. And here's why.
We humans all know that mistakes happen, but we somehow believe that we are above it until it happens. Then, two groups are formed. Those who want the mistake to be forgotten already(usually comprising of those who made the mistake, and those who understand), and those who want to keep the mistake alive for their personal gain, humour, or just to learn from it. I understand the logic of learning from other people's mistakes so I won't dwell on that. We all make mistakes, the problem is some of us don't correct them, and some don't even bother apologizing to those offended by the mistake or correcting the mistakes. In that lies the greater mistake.
For anyone who has made mistakes before, you will know that people hardly forget the mistakes as easily as they do the good you have done. Although it is easier to forgive than to forget, some people find it hard to do both. So what do we do about that? Humans can sense deceit, and once they do, trusting you will be a Herculean task. So it is best to be truly sorry for the mistake, apologize to those affected by the mistake, take steps to make amends if possible, and learn from the mistake. Understand that you can't force people to forgive you. Keep doing right, forgiveness will come when it feels right for them. And if someone has wronged you, do understand that as much as it hurts you, the other person might be hurting too but might not know or want to show it. Do forgive all the same.
We are all human after all.


- The Lady



    “Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the
                                                least of these, ye did it not to me.”
                                                             Matthew‬ ‭25:45‬